Thursday, June 3, 2010

Asking for what you want

Sounds easy, right?  Then why don't we do it more often?  Too often we worry we will offend or be deemed incompetent...or worse!  The dreaded Wonder Woman Imposter Scandal!  Those of you who think you can do it all, and still look like a supermodel, are full of it.  You are just as frazzled as the rest of us, you just hide it better than we do.  (I know your secrets, too, but that's a post of a different color.)  Back to this one...

Maybe I'm not talking to YOU but in the past I certainly have had difficulty asking for what I wanted.  I remember all too well shying away from asking for a raise.  I knew I deserved it, I knew my bosses knew I deserved it.  Yet somehow I felt insecure or maybe embarrassed about asking to receive more money.  Everyday others ask so much of us, WE ask even more of ourselves.  But we don't feel right about asking THEM for a little help around the house or to carry our groceries out to our car...or to do what WE want this weekend.  I always thought I was independent and strong-willed, but at this point in my life I finally have discovered that too often I have pushed aside what I want in order to maintain harmony.  In my job, my friendships, and in my home.  No more.

Before I go further let me clarify that my husband does not ignore my needs and wants.  Quite the opposite.  He has pleaded with me for YEARS to talk with him about this topic.  I guess asking for what I want has not been the problem, it was permitting myself to actually THINK about who I am, what I need and what I want to be happy.

A while ago I started exploring these facets of my personality (I'll post about that soon.)  Now that I understand myself a bit better, I began making a mental outline of My Perfect Life and what it would take to achieve it.  In truth, I'm not seeking perfection.  I will fall a bit short of that, but it will still be pretty darned amazing.  I have begun asking my inner circle for their support as I strive toward my ideal.

Recently I read that all we have is all we need.  That we have everything and can not receive another blessing unless we make room for it.  That we must ask for what we want but also we must prepare to receive it.  Like the saying about being "careful what you wish for", you must be ready for happiness before it arrives or else it will move along to another inn.  Currently I'm figuratively setting up the guest room for the life that I want.  I hope she comes to visit and likes the place so much she just moves in.  Will keep you posted.

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