Saturday, October 16, 2010

Even more raw

My body was accustomed to mostly raw foods...or so I thought.  When we were camping in parks with full hookups, not much had changed from living in a home-without-wheels.  We were just living in a significantly smaller space, that's all.  Now that we are out, remote, everything is different.  First, who wants to wash dishes when you have to pack in all your water?  Hint: not me.  I'd rather use it to drink or rinse off our bodies.  I've given in to paper plates and plastic flatware...only because trees can be planted and plastic can be recycled easier than creating new sources of water.  Plus, I can cut out the middle man and just burn the dang stuff AND create heat energy for my family.  So our daily water consumption has plummetted to around 5 gallons per day for the entire family.  That includes teeth-brushing and hand-washing.  In this area, we rock.  Our energy consumption is more difficult to measure.  If we use the generator, we burn through 2-3 gallons per day.  At around $2.70 per gallon, that's $8.10 per day.  Yikes.  Relying on 12v means letting the diesel truck idle for several hours.  As of this writing, "Daisy" (our truck) has been running for about 5 hrs and does not seem to have consumed even one gallon.  Diesel here runs around $2.80 per gallon, maybe $2.90.  Either way, that's a HUGE savings over using the generator.

Running the truck has other benefits, as well.  The deep cycle battery inside the camper is connected to the truck's battery and is constantly being recharged.  That means, when we turn off the truck, we have stored energy in the deep cycle to power lights and the 12v outlet inside the camper.  One caveat: the outlet does not seem to be capable of handling the power load of one, much less two, laptops.  So while we work, at least for now, both computers will need to be connected via extension cord to the power source outlets (also 12v) inside the cab of the truck.  And until we replace our laptop batteries (they are fried from using the generator as their power source...at least we think that's the problem...) the truck will also need to be running.  The laptop batteries will charge but will not HOLD the charge. 

We could rely on solar energy but have not yet settled on the brand or configuration that best suits our needs.

So our diet has changed due to our limited access to energy.  The first couple of days we made smoothies by connecting to the generator.  Power surges concerned us and we decided to explore raw foods that require little to no preparation.  Avocadoes, bananas, tomatoes and more are excellent sources of portable nutrition.  But we overestimated our rate of consumption, and we found ourselves eating to the point of discomfort to avoid wasting produce.  My next grocery shopping trip will be Monday.  I am paring down our list again...here is our list for one 3-day block.  There will be approximately three variations to this list to avoid monotony and spoilage.  Other non-raw items might fall into my buggy...:)

1 large watermelon -- that will be our only food for an entire day.
6 small avocadoes -- two per person for one day.
1 pint grape tomatoes -- to be shared among three people in one day, preferably with avocadoes.
6 bananas -- one per person for two days.  Breakfast on "avocado/tomato day", and the next.
2 cucumbers -- to be shared among three people in one day, preferably the day after avocado/tomato day.
2 red bell peppers -- to be shared among three people in one day, preferably with cucumbers.
1 lb. raw cashews -- snack between meals.

My body was adjusting slowly (and clumsily) the first few days here on the beach.  I spent a lot of time "in the dunes."  Today my digestive system seems to have adapted and is functioning normally again.

Sweet, smart, silly...and strong

About a week ago I started teaching Sage what I call the "winning combination."  To be truly successful in life, I explained, you must feel good about yourself and the way you conduct your life.  Money and beauty will only get you so far, I continued.  In most cases, you can not take credit for those "attributes" anyway.  Focus on character and integrity, knowledge and intelligence, and developing a good sense of humor.  These characteristics evolve over a lifetime and will carry you much farther. 

A couple of days ago Sage went with me to an auto parts store here in Corpus Christi.  I'll save you all the details, but I had killed our F250 Diesel's main battery and needed a jump box to start it up again.  I explained what had happened to the salesperson, and that we are camping in a primitive, remote area.  He recommended a product and I bought it.  David took it out of the box when I returned to camp and discovered (much to my disappointment) that I had bought a battery charger, not a jump box.  Two totally different animals.  The battery charger PLUGS IN to electricity.  The jump box is a stand-alone 12v battery.  The next day I returned the charger to the auto parts store...and Sage was with me again.  The same salesperson was there, too.  He was rude -- beyond the normal snarkiness I have come to expect from auto parts stores.  I explained why this product was not useful to us but he cut me off with "did you take this out and use it?????"  Well, I answered, we did in fact take it out of the box but we could not use it.  You can't plug it into A SAND DUNE.  Within moments, the product was returned, I had a new battery and heavy-duty jumper cables, and Mr. Snarky had loaded it into my truck for me.  It was not over for me, though.

This was an opportunity to teach Sage about another component of our "winning combination" -- strength.  At some point in your life, someone will try to make you feel bad about yourself.  Whether it is because you are pretty, intelligent, enthusiastic, creative, adventurous, shy -- whatever -- someone somewhere will pounce on your vulnerabilities.  Don't let them, I told her.  Be proud of all that you are, Sage.  Be nice even when others treat you badly.  Be smart when others do stupid things.  Be silly, even if you look like a spaz.  And above all, be strong.  Stand up for yourself, NO MATTER WHAT.  Do not be anyone's doormat...

You might be bristling at the way I talk to my little girl.  I know, she's only 2.  That is not too young to start directing a child's moral compass.  I want her to be respectful as well as respectable; wise and yet seeking deeper and higher levels of wisdom; carefree but not careless; and confident without conceit.  I'll let you know how she turns out...

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Boo-boos

The first night we were in Cedar Hill State Park I did not douse Sage with Off!  The next day, her skin was covered in polka dots.  When we went to Lockhart State Park, she was elated there was a playground.  As we skipped and ran and laughed our way toward the swings, my little girl's foot caught on the pavement and she fell.  And kept falling...until finally her face stopped the forward momentum.  From her right eye down to her mouth were scrapes and scratches.  We checked into Nueces County Park and, because she was thrilled to be back at the beach, she jumped around on her bed, giddy.  Then she fell onto the floor because her foot missed the edge of the bed.  Her legs had a couple of small bruises on them.  Out here on the beach, she ran in her aqua socks/water shoes so much she had blisters on her ankles.  Her hair is kinked up with salty water.

The mosquito bites are all but disappeared.  Surprisingly, the scrapes on her face have healed rapidly.  No more bruises, just a tiny spot on the back of her leg.  The blisters are already gone and all is well, if you ask her.  Tomorrow I will wash her hair (and my own!)

David or I, or both, have been inches from her side when all of these mishaps happened.  No way we could have prevented them.  Still, I feel badly...and responsible...or irresponsible, depending on your perspective. 

If you ask Sage, she is having a great time!  This is her adventure!  Each day she swims, plays with fish and butterflies, chases birds, runs and sings and laughs, reads, sketches about her experiences, learns to take photos, meets new people, and so much more.  She goes to sleep and wakes up to the swooshing of waves, and loves every moment of every day.  She pats me on the back and says "You're a good mommy" just before she falls asleep.  She tells David he's "the best" and thanks us for all the fun, every day.  Sage has the sweetest of deals, I think.  And at this point she seems grateful.  So are we, Sage, so are we.

More raw on the road

When we left Nueces County Park a few days ago, we hauled a bin full of dirty dishes out onto the beach.  Each day I wash a few, many more are dirtied.  I have resisted David's suggestions to buy paper plates and plastic forks.  That's not green!  Instead we have decided to phase out more of our cooked meals in lieu of more raw meals.  We made a list of foods that do not need to be cooked, are nutritious, and may be easily transported and stored without refrigeration up to 3 days.  So far, our list includes: bananas, avocadoes, cucumbers, red bell peppers, oranges, limes (for flavoring), grape tomatoes, apples and a variety of raw nuts.  We also bought a giant watermelon which we will consume completely in one day.  Without refrigeration, it will go rancid.  Other processed, non-raw foods included in our diet (for the moment, anyway) are bread, crackers, fig bars and Laughing Cow cheese that must be refrigerated after opening.  Like watermelon, we will need to consume the entire package of cheese in one day to avoid spoiling.

Streamlining our diet further means less waste, less manufactured food in our bodies, and lower cost overall.  It also means more efficiency, more nutritious meals and more value for the foods we buy.  Smoothies and juices -- previously the foundation of our diet -- will need to be reserved for camping in parks.  While in primitive spots, like the beaches of Corpus Christi, we need portable and nutritious foods.  I think my body knows I'm up to something, because somehow I've eaten most of the processed food we bought yesterday. 

Today I have eaten 1/2 banana, about a cup of raw cashews, 1 avocado, 1/2 pint of grape tomatoes, 1/4 Sage's peanut butter and jelly sandwich, 1/4 cup raisins, and more Pringle's chips than I care to count.  One cup of coffee (not raw.)

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

A brief visit to Central Texas

The past few nights we stayed in Lockhart State Park.  There are only about 20 camping sites, half with electricity/water/sewer, the other half with electricity/water only.  The sites with sewer access sit higher than the park road and on open prairie.  The rest of the sites sit below the elevation of the road and are nestled among trees along the banks of Clear Fork Creek.  Whether out in the open or tucked into seclusion, none of the sites receive reliable access to cell phone or mobile internet access.  That's perfectly fine if your goal is to escape into nature and away from modern technology.  But when your business is mostly online, it's a real pain.  Fortunately, our stay there was short and we were still able to check on our project located on the premises of Golden Age Home.

If you have the time and means to spend time in Lockhart State Park, I wholeheartedly recommend it.  Pick up some world famous barbecue -- Lockhart is the barbecue capital of Texas, you know -- and bop over to Schroeder Park on the grounds of Golden Age Home on 183.  (That is our project.)  Choose from Smitty's, Black's, Kreuz, or Chisholm Trail.  All are great and each has something special to offer.  While you relish in the divine Lockhart dining, let your eyes delight in the dance of the plants native to the Blackland Prairie.  Full sun, brutal breeze, mostly ambient rainfall: this is one durable yet beautiful garden.  Back at the park...birds and butterflies congregate on the many native plant species along the creek and hiking trails.  During our stay we did not focus on documenting bird species, but we could not ignore the woodpecker tapping out a rhythm on the tree next to our site.  Neither David nor I got a good enough look at it to identify which species of woodpecker.  We did however observe a variety of butterflies, a couple that are new to us.  Like our visit to Cedar Hill State Park, there are Pipevine Swallowtail, Eastern Tiger Swallowtail and Hackberry Emperor in Lockhart State Park.  Other species include Gulf Fritillary and Southern Dogface.  New sightings for us were a possible Dainty Orange Sulphur and two Bordered Patch.  Another we have not properly identified yet.  Its forewings look almost pink and the hindwings are mostly orange.  Maybe it's a type of blue?  If anyone knows, please send me a link to a pic.  Help!  There were probably about 50 of them following us along the hiking trail.  One would expect me to snap a photo, right?  These nervous-flappers kept fluttering away whenever I approached.  No pics yet.

Fishing is permitted in a couple of areas inside the park.  One of the "hot spots" is next to the waterfall just downstream from our site along the creek.  Sage used her Barbie fishing pole for the first time!  I was back at the site, working, and could hear her clearly exclaim, "Daddy, this is so much fun!"  No bait, so no fish.  Lots of fun memories, though, and that's really what matters most.

Although we were only in Lockhart State Park for three days, we saw abundant plant life and took some stunning photos.  The photos of our project -- now almost six years old -- are lovely, too.  Tonight we will select only the best and post them just before we settle in for the night.  Destination, undetermined...for now.

Saturday, October 2, 2010

Roughing it and Potty-training

Two-and-a-half weeks on the road, and still this does not seem like camping.  Or weird or real.  I keep waiting to feel like we're really roughing it, but I guess I have all the comforts of home just outdoors or a short walk away.  For instance, showers and bathroom business take place in the bath house down the sidewalk from our site.  It's so close I can walk there in the middle of the night, should the pee-pee mood strike.  Teeth-brushing, hand-washing, dish- and clothes-washing, and any food-prepping requiring water are handled at the onsite water faucet.  I know, you are probably wondering if the water is safe to drink.  It is potable, and is cleaner than connecting to our camper and funnelling the water through a hose, first, and then through our holding tank.  I still need to flush the tank...and even after I do I think I will bypass the hose-and-tank scenario whenever possible.  We also have electricity onsite and have run a series of extension cords and power strips (safely, mind you) back to our private picnic area.  There we have erected our canopy with mosquito-slowing mesh room, a lovely outdoor rug, and beach chairs.  We have also "installed" a child-size princess table with matching chairs.  Here, we eat, work, learn and spend time together as a family; it is our outdoor living and dining space.

Inside the camper is a fridge and inside the trailer (aka "truck-wagon", like chuckwagon but towed behind a truck) is a large cooler used as overflow from the fridge.  So far, we have kept everything but the milk cool enough.  We just have to buy in smaller packages so the milk can be stored in the fridge.  We do have a stove that has been great for boiling water for coffee, making pasta or rice, and warming up leftover chili.  Our air conditioner blows ice cold but I'm not sure if the furnace works.  Or how it works, really.  Hope we don't have to use it, anyway.  We have an HD TV mounted on the side of the truckwagon and a small CD player/radio connected to the power strip.  Laptops may be recharged via power strip or 12V, or connected directly to the generator.  The generator is totally unnecessary when camping in a park setting, however.

In the evenings after Sage has gone to bed we light a lantern and hang it from the frame of the canopy.  The lovely warm glow creates a perfectly romantic setting...I guess aside from having much privacy we have all the essentials of a home...

Potty-training has gone fairly well, considering Sage's potty turns up in a different place every break.  During the day it's usually in the "tent" so she can quickly reach it during meals or playtime.  At night, when we go to bed, we bring the potty into the camper.  Yes, our teeny camper.  Oh, and by the way, the official inside living space is 65 square feet, a whopping 15 feet larger than I initially thought.  Wow, that's some high living, eh?  Tomorrow we leave for Central Texas.  Sage has had several "accidents" today, so she must be anxious about leaving this place that she has grown so fond of.  Every day she plays with Hackberry Emperor and Tawny Emperor butterflies, and weaves them in as characters in stories she makes up.  She must be feeling like she's leaving friends.  That is something I need to consider carefully to help her better adapt to this journey.

Time to start packing.  We have really moved into this place!

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Week 1 Recap...my personal perspective

Over on http://nativerave.blogspot.com/, I gave a recap of week one from a business perspective.  Here I will discuss it from a personal perspective...mine only.  Over on http://4x4elvalor.blogspot.com/ will be a hybrid...a little overlapping but new content as well.

With that bit of housekeeping out of the way, let's go...getting out of Corpus Christi seemed impossible.  Painting Sage's room and the office took much more time and money than necessary.  Finishing the trailer took longer, partly because we had to modify it to suit our specific needs as we went along.  Moving from our house into the camper, trailer and storage, selling items the donating others, proved to be a lesson in logistics.  A lesson I will not soon forget...which led to a recent status update on facebook that went something like "Dear Friends and Family:  Please do not ever give me or anyone in my household another gift.  Thank you."  Our departure date was pushed back a week, which caused a serious time crunch in our work schedule...and in our checking account.  Ouch.

Even the day we left there were severe thunderstorms all around us.  We were determined to leave, though, and paddled our way across town.  Once we made it to the north side of town, we saw nothing but blue skies with a few pretty fluffy clouds.  We took our time as we drove toward Austin.  None of our gear hadreally been tested yet, so we pulled over a few times to check locks and hitches, tie-downs and latches.  Solid.  That night, we stayed with friends in the Austin area.  Sage had an overnight playdate and we were able to unwind with our generous friends.  (Thanks, Cat and Mike.  And thanks to Gretchen for the food.  It was incredible!) 

The next day we drove to Plano and hooked up in my Dad's driveway.  The neighbors probably LOVED seeing our camper and adventure trailer strewn across his three-car driveway.  But nobody complained, at least not to us, and we stayed three nights so we could be there early to help him with his garage sale.  The sale went well, but you could not help but feel a bit of sadness watching shards of my Dad's memories being carried away by strangers...at a fraction of what they are worth.  I was never prouder of my Dad as I was that weekend.  Despite the upheaval in his life, he maintained his dignity, even joking with garage sale-regulars as they haggled over a dollar or two.  Petty, really.  As I watched him, I realized that everything will be just fine for him.  The past few years have been tremendously difficult for him: he has endured a divorce, a layoff, the death of his older brother for whom he was the caretaker in his final months, a foreclosure and now being forced to liquidate his possessions, some things he created himself, to raise capital so he can start over again.  I'm not betraying his privacy by writing about here.  He has been very open about his situation on facebook and with everyone who attended his garage sales.  I only mention these details to illustrate how many of life's most stressful events he has suffered in just a few short years.  Yet, he still wakes up every morning and makes an effort to find some joy.  He maintains a sense of humor...and inspires everyone who knows his story.  Maybe today's the day, Dad.  Maybe today everything will turn out right.  It's your turn to be happy.  I love you and am honored to be your daughter.

During the sale on Saturday I received a call from a good friend that one of our high school classmates and his wife were killed in a motorcycle accident early that morning.  They leave behind two young daughters and tight-knit family.  Rest in peace, Ernie & Elisa Santos.

Sunday morning we "checked out" of Dad's driveway and drove to the campground where we are staying now.  On the way, I checked my phone.  I had a message from one of David's relatives in West Texas.  I returned the call and received another sad message.  One of the little ones was killed in a freak accident; she was 4.  I had only met her a few times but I sobbed a long time thinking about her short life.  Actually, I'm crying again as I write this.  Today is her funeral.  We are not going because the experience would be too disturbing for Sage.  And for us, too.  But today we remember that little angel...bless you, Froggy.

This is not quite the adventure I had planned.  However, the tragedies have been offset by some very happy moments.  Sage rode in the BOB Stroller while I pushed her and jogged.  Sheesh, she weighs a lot more than the last time I ran with her.  We played on the playground here in the park, then swam in the lake.  Daddy took her for a ride yesterday in the bicycle trailer.  Folsom has been a model doggie.  Our new home-and-office-on-wheels is working out great; we already have ideas for making things more efficient.  Naptime and bedtime play out more easily than ever--yessss!  I've spent quality time with family and friends this first week and am looking forward to more.  Business is thriving!  And that's always a great thing...

Overall, I'm grateful for the opportunity to try out this mobile lifestyle.  Let's see what we'll do in week 2...

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Raw on the road

Preparing raw meals while traveling is easy.  Cooking heats the camper too much, so nobody complains when I suggest a bowl of grapes or several bananas for breakfast.  We are not 100% raw, which means our dinners sometimes consist of tuna, fresh-squeezed lime juice, cubed avocado and sea salt.  The crackers we eat are also not raw but at least so far, we have not cooked any meals this first week of our mobile lifestyle.  The challenge is in finding quality fresh produce that everyone (ahem, Sage) will eat.  I have discovered that the best and healthiest options are found in the more affluent neighborhoods.  Lower-quality foodstuffs are abundant in the poorer communities.  And I don't mean necessarily lower-priced foods.  It seems that the prices are pretty much the same across the socioeconomic spectrum of communities in DFW, but the quality and quantity is definitely better on the higher end of the income scale.  I really have to dig around the produce sections where we are staying now.

But I'm able to blend smoothies!  Pics to follow...here they are...

Outdoor food prep table/workstation...complete with dinner bell, pantry, TV mount.  Oh, and a gas can.

Side view of outdoor kitchen/workstation

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Counting Down

We had to push back our departure date by about 4 days because, despite months of planning and preparations, there is still so much to do.  When we announced this adventure we had a different camper -- perhaps you remember The Driftah?  That camper did not work out, in the end, but we were very fortunate to find El Valor and a small utility trailer.  This move is unquestionably the most difficult of our lifetime.

It isn't because we merely have more STUFF -- we do, but that's not the issue.  Usually when people move they move room-by-room boxing up their belongings, scrawling something descriptive like "kitchen" on the outside.  Everything is in neat little box-towers, and then they slide a dolly under each tower before tilting and rolling it away to be loaded in neat little towers in the back of a truck or moving van.  Maybe that's just a fantasy, because no move I've ever made has gone that neatly, that smoothly.  First, things that have nothing to do with one another always end up in the same box or bin.  No neat little descriptor exists.  My boxes have things like "wires, cycling shorts and tax shit."  (I wish I were kidding but one of our bins actually has something to that effect written on it.  Argh.)  My little towers always crumble and something always gets broken.  Even the stuff that's professional-quality packed.

The reason this move is more difficult than the others is that nearly every item must be analyzed before it gets "organized" (and I use that term loosely.)  Some things are easy: sell the weight bench.  I'm not storing another weight bench and set of weights for an undetermined period of time.  Done that.  Why do we even own this useless piece of equipment?  With all the other things going on in our life, we never make time for lifting weights...except in winter when business is slow.  So we sold the weights and gave away the weight bench.  Done.  Most things we had to really think about.  Could we use this in the camper or on the trailer?  Or should we store it for later?  Maybe just sell it or donate it if nobody wants to buy it.  This has been a tedious process, to say the very very least.

The other issue is, we didn't really know what we might need.  A test-camp (as opposed to test-drive) would answer some of our questions, but not all.  We did not know exactly what we would need or could reuse until the trailer was finished.  For all you folks with homes WITHOUT wheels (ha), making these decisions would be like moving into a house that's not even built yet.  Now that our vehicle configuration is set, and we know how much room we have, we have finally been able to sort our belongings.  Final preparations are underway, even as I write this.  In fact, David just came inside and asked that I help him outside.  One sec, I told him...

Everything that was to be sold, is sold.  Tonight we will finish organizing all the debris littering our front yard (tools, extension cords, screws and nails, I think I tripped over a bicycle pump a while ago, too...)  Everything that was/is to be stored will be THERE tomorrow.  Only two or three truckloads left to move; all but a few items is packed and stacked by the front door.  Ready.  With oddball labels, yes.  The last day will be spent painting the office and Sage's room white, cleaning up the backyard, replacing three sets of blinds, and mopping.  We are cleaning as we go so most everything looks great, but I'm leaving the mopping until the very end.  Toddler.  Terrier.  The Husband.  'Nuff said?

Sunday morning, our new life begins.  I have mentioned this before, but I want to remind you that after our journey gets underway I will be documenting our experiences at http://4x4elvalor.blogspot.com/.  This blog will return to its original intent: to follow me on my personal journey as mother, wife, writer, etc.  Special emphasis will be on living, working and traveling green with my family.  Lastly, and also a repeat of a previous post, our business blog will discuss plants and sustainable landscape practices, showcase our projects, announce speaking engagements, and present the impacts of our journey on our business.  That blog may be found at http://nativerave.blogspot.com/.

As always, I humbly thank you for reading about my family and our journey toward simplifying our life.  If you like what you read, please recommend these 'spots to others.  Grateful for you.

Monday, September 6, 2010

Departure date pushed back

We have some last-minute preparations for our journey and will need a few more days.  Next post will be from the road!  Please share this blog and our others with everyone you know.  Grateful for you.

Saturday, August 28, 2010

A Certain Age

Yesterday I ran a few errands during Sage's naptime.  Nothing unusual.  I had been painting all day in direct, full-sun.  H.O.T.  My Jimmy Buffett Party 2006 tour tee and grey-but-originally-black yoga shorts were splattered with white paint.  So were my legs...and arms...and eyebrows, I think?  My bra was inadvertently left hanging on the handle of my closet door.  I had not bathed or brushed my teeth...let alone washed my hair.  Yes, supermodels and Playmates everywhere would have withered in the presence of my awesomeness...or my "fragrance"?

Only one block from home, and relatively certain my little girl would be waking up soon, I quickly pulled over to pick up some adult beverages for the weekend.  Yes, paint-splattered, and all.  As I entered Stripes, two young women walked in behind me.  They headed for the same spot in the store, and were very polite when I excused myself as I reached in front of them for my beverage of choice.  There is a sign over every register that reads, in blaring letters: "ID required on all tobacco and alcohol transactions."  A young guy (probably in his 20s) was getting a lecture from his older colleague about checking EVERYONE's ID.  Period.  The colleague -- a woman in her late-40s -- looked down at the counter at my beverage, then up at my smiling but white-flecked face.  "What's your birthday?" she asked.  Not, "May I see your ID, please?"  The bikini babes bounced up to the young man's register.  Suddenly, there were several older men waiting in line, too.  And everyone was staring at the young women in bathing suits.

I thanked the cashier, smiled at the young women -- they were really nice girls -- and went on my way.  A guy walking out in front of me nearly crashed into the door because he was looking back at the girls.  He opened the door and for a brief moment I thought he was going to hold it for me.  He let it sail!  Nearly smacked me in the face!  But I was already mid-sentence, saying "Thank you" for holding the door.  My voice took him by surprise, I think, because he glared back at me as if I had disturbed his concentration.  How dare I?

I guess I have become that woman who has reached "a certain age."  That age when nobody needs to see your identification and men no longer hold the door for you.  That age when you are completely invisible when bikini babes are present.  One might think I am bothered by this.  I'm not.  I was laughing so hard about what had happened that I called my mom.  Maybe I was laughing a bit at myself, too, for not recognizing sooner that I am THAT age now.  Those girls are easily half my age, and while I must confess I milked life of all it had to offer when I was their age, I don't want to BE their age again.  I'm happy with me just the way I am.  Paint-splattered and 40 ain't so bad.

10 days

On the twelfth day of moving my true love gave to me...paint and set of brushes.

On the eleventh day of moving my true love gave to me...more paint and more brushes.

What will he give me today, on the 10th day of moving?  You guessed it: more paint and more brushes...The truth is, the painting is nearly finished.  Yes!  One more coat on one side of the trailer and some touching up, then finish the first coat on El Valor.  Paint dries rapidly on aluminum siding -- especially in this baking heat -- so we can immediately start the second coat as soon as we finish the first.  After all the painting is done, we will outfit the trailer with some neat features.  Think, outdoor kitchen. 

Simultaneous with the customization will be the move-in to the camper as well as the trailer.  Clothing, bed linens and towels will be in El Valor, while toys and books will be in the trailer.  It's difficult to plan the configuration in detail without having all our gear ready.  In a couple of days, all will be decided.  When we know exactly what we need/want/are capable of taking, we can also decide what will be sold, or stored, or donated.  The house will be empty for the first time since July 4th 2008.

Although we are cleaning as we clear things out, we still need to deep clean and make a few minor repairs.  Two sets of blinds need to be replaced (thanks, Folsom!!!!) and two screens need new mesh (and thanks again, Folsom!!!!)  Holes in walls need to be filled and two rooms need to be painted white again.  The backyard will take two days alone.  Sage's playset must be dismantled and hauled off the property.  Because we did not use all of the decking, there is also leftover lumber that must be removed.  Remnants of my raised bed garden must be deconstructed and taken away.  Finally, the plastic under the rocks in a couple of small places must be replaced (and one more thanks to Folsom!!!!)  Wait -- one last thanks to Folsom: we have some poop to clean up!  Thanks, buddy!

Ha ha, I'm just kidding, Folsom.  We love you more than you will ever know!

There is so much to do that we have not prepared for our moving sale scheduled for today.  One Saturday left until the transition is complete; we will postpone it one more week.  By next Sunday, everything that's going with us should be in El Valor or the trailer.  Everything that we are keeping but can't take should be neatly stacked in storage.  The rest should be sold or donated.  The house should be clean, repaired and ready for the next tenants, whomever they might be.  And then we can begin our journey, wherever it might take us.

Words alone can not fully convey my serenity and gratitude.  This is the life I am meant to live, the path I must follow, to be the best Me I can be.  Each day I give thanks that I have been paired with a partner (in life, in business, in adventure) who supports and shares my need for an authentic life.  I love you, David.  Bless you.

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Sometimes, a little sorting out just makes sense

I've been writing about the preparations for our adventure here.  This blog was supposed to follow my personal journey as a writer, mother, wife...etc.  To help to keep things orderly, I've set up a separate blog to follow our family's and business' collective journey.  Here's a list of our blogs and their themes:

http://nativerave.blogspot.com/ -- our biz blog.  Services, speaking engagements, articles about plants and natural processes, etc.  Watch the evolution toward a mobile and sustainable business!
http://christyilfrey.blogspot.com/ -- my personal blog, "christy's writerlust".  Experiences as a mobile mommy, wife, writer, Green Queen, entrepreneur.
and the newest...
http://4x4elvalor.blogspot.com/ --- our adventure blog.  Sometimes will overlap with nativerave, sometimes with writerlust.  Will also include Sage's perspective and some travel-related topics that do not seem to fit neatly in the other two blogs.

Please subscribe to the other two!  So much is changing, and the adventure is really getting exciting.  I want to share my enthusiasm with as many people as possible!!!!

Thursday, August 19, 2010

We are legal and official!

Our utility trailer is officially inspected, registered and licensed.  Today we hammered out details on the final design; tomorrow we resume implementing our plan.  I will, of course, snap a bunch of photos of our progress.  Stay tuned.

I find it very interesting that truck campers, unlike other RVs, do not have titles.  In case you are interested, here is some information about our collective Mobile Adventure Unit.  I will probably update this list as our set-up changes.

* 2001 Ford F150 Super Duty 4x4 Diesel.  Rugged and durable, this off-road pickup can take us just about anywhere most vehicles can't.
* 1984 Valor slide-in truck camper.  Pops up.  Plenty of sleeping room for Daddy, Mommy, kiddo plus dog.  Sink with electric pump and holding tank.  Stove runs on propane.  Fridge runs on 110 (electricity) or propane (gas.)  One RV service center told us it may also be powered by 12V (battery), but we have not yet tested that.  5000 BTU air conditioner in rear window; 110 required.  Furnace...who needs a furnace, ha.  I have no info on its power source(s) because I hope I never have to use it.  Piggybacking on a 4x4 vehicle allows us to take our "home" to hard-to-reach, remote locales.
* 5x8' utility trailer, customized.  Will post specs after we finish it.
* 10x10' canopy.  Our outdoor living room!  Mesh netting keeps out pests.  Optional walls block the sun's rays, keeping us cool and...well...not sunburned?  We are reusing a large tarp to create a floor.  An indoor/outdoor rug in earth tones creates a warm, home-like ambience.

Our official blast-off date is September 7th.  So much to do...and miles to go before I sleep, and miles to go before I sleep...

Monday, August 16, 2010

Send me an angel

This weekend we had a setback with El Valor.  Not a big deal...it could have been much worse.  David had cut off the excess straps on the tie-downs before heading out to the hardware store.  He has been working on rebuilding the utility trailer and needed more stainless steel bolts.  As he turned back into our driveway, he heard a *kerrang*.  He looked into the rearview mirror just in time to see one of the jacks being sheared from the underside of the camper.  Immediately he put the truck into park and went to investigate.  Apparently he had trimmed only 3 of the 4 straps, and the fourth unravelled somewhere between the hardware store and home.  It flapped in the gulf breeze before wrapping itself around the rear tire.  Wrapped and wrapped, and then when there was no more slack, yanked the jack right off El Valor.  Seriously.  Yanked so hard and violently that it left a gaping hole under the propane tank. 

Imagine if he had been driving over the bridge when that happened.  The jack would most likely have been lost...and they are not cheap.  Maybe the propane would drop and explode?  Who knows?  But none of these worst-case scenarios happened.  The entire ordeal unfolded as he turned onto our driveway, a mere 15ft from safety.  I choose to believe somebody or something was looking out for him.

The hole is patched and reinforcements have been added.  That jack isn't going anywhere.  Oh, and the fourth strap is now the same length as the other three.  Yessss.

Today a couple called about our listing on craigslist.  They came to look at the item and put down a deposit to hold it.  They did not call this evening, although they promised they would, but I feel relatively confident they will come pick it up soon.  This will be one less thing we have to worry about.  Our adventure angel was watching over us, again.

This evening after dinner we went outside to check out David's handiwork.  A woman driving by in a minivan pulled into our driveway and asked about renting our half of the duplex.  Let me back up a second...when I went out to get the mail this afternoon I discovered a "For Rent" sign next to our driveway.  Our landlords had put up the sign sometime today; our departure is official!  Anyway, back to the woman...she asked about the unit and if she could see it.  Sure.  I gave her a brief tour.  Soon we weren't talking about the house any longer.  Soon we were discussing "connecting to Earth" and holistic healing and raw food and...so many topics I'm interested in.  We continued the tour, and talking, until we realized how late it was.  Sage needed a bath.  She desperately needed to get into bed early (as do I but look what time it is!)  My new friend needed to get home to her family, too.  She wrote down our landlords' numbers on the paper I had given her on which were the url for this blog and our business website.  NATIVEDAVE.COM in case any of you have forgotten.  ;-)

Everything we talked about reaffirmed beliefs I already value, values I already hold dear.  It was as if a messenger had arrived to reassure me I'm on the right path.  Sometimes, our angels put us into situations that challenge our values.  Sometimes they fortify our beliefs against all challenges.  Maybe 'angel' is not the right word...but someone or something invisible to me truly is watching over us.  Protecting us, informing and guiding us, encouraging us.  Call him/her/it what you will.  But please don't scare away my angels.  I'm truly grateful for their service to my family, especially as we prepare for our big adventure.  Keep us safe, dear messengers.  Please do keep us safe.

Thursday, August 12, 2010

The People You Meet

Since we started putting together this mobile adventure, we have met so many interesting people.  First there was Renee.  We bought The Drifter (aka The Driftah) from her.  She lived on a sailboat a long time ago and decided we are just the kind of people who need to go sailing, too.  We told her about our mobile adventure -- that The Drifter would be our home.  If we could live in that, we could definitely go sailing, she said.  Think about it.  And I have...but that's another adventure for another time.

Renee was selling The Drifter -- and her business and most of her belongings -- so she could move on to the East Coast to be near her grandbaby.  I think she had found another camper and planned to live and travel in it.  Renee, if you are reading this, send me your mailing address.  I found the poem!

Then we met Jen.  She bought some land on the outskirts of town and decided to build a tiny home on it.  And she has...all on her own.  She found our listing for the RV stove/oven combo on craigslist and bought it.  We ended up talking for a couple of hours about her tiny cabin, homesteading, alternative energy sources -- she shared so much fascinating and inspiring information.  Her journey amazes me and I feel grateful we met.  Looking forward to getting to know you better, Jen.  I will continue to follow your story in awe.

Around the time we met Jen we had an estate sale.  The renovation of The Drifter had already begun: the floor and about half the walls and ceiling were removed.  We were enthusiastic about our plans and ready to purge some excess baggage.  Almost every person was given a penny-tour of our beloved camper.  Funny, not one person looked at us like we were crazy.  Many of them had already taken a similar adventure, a few took their small children along.  These random meetings remind me that because I have accepted my true self and commited to following my authentic path, I am being rewarded with new, like-minded friends.

One couple in particular blew my mind.  They sold their acres-upon-acres of land in Montana and most of their possessions, and have been living in a motorhome for about eight years.  Combined, they have eight kids (and some grandkids.)  Some live on the west coast, some on the east coast, and at least one lives along the Texas Coast.  They decided to "go mobile" because it is easier for them to travel to their kids and grandkids, than for them to visit the ranch in Montana.  We talked to them for a very long time.  They are the reason we are allocating plenty of space on the utility trailer for storing drinking water.  Apparently, even with expensive filtration systems, there are potentially harmful sedimentary and oily substances found in too many of our nation's water sources.  They advised us to drink only bottled water in clear plastic containers.  Duly noted.

Rex came along the morning after David and I had stayed up almost all night crunching numbers.  Replacing the floor, walls and ceiling would not cost much, we discovered.  Really, the only expense of note would be the system to secure the camper onto the truck and new jacks.  The Drifter really was designed to fit on small pickups, and we needed something specialized to retrofit our monster Ford F250 Super Duty to our beloved vintage camper.  The camper only cost $375 and we would be reusing lumber from our backyard landscape projects.  Plus, finishing the walls and celings would be a nominal expense (maybe $200???), so we were willing to invest the $1300 in the tie-downs and jacks.  Of course, we would still need to buy a new fridge and a trailer to haul additional belongings totally necessary to taking our business on the road.  Still, all of the add-ons should keep us under budget.

SHOULD.

I wrote about Rex in a previous post, so I will only mention that encounter here.  In brief, David had called about a slide-in truck camper and never received a reply.  Actually, he had called about a few campers.  When Rex called, we were not really sure which listing was his, but after a little discussion and a look at his craigslist ad, we were eager to see it in person.  This was the one we really wanted!  That day we drove over to Rockport to have a look.  Rex was asking $1,200 and for an additional $150 he included a 2100 watt generator and 5'x8' utility trailer.  Jacks, too.  The camper is in excellent condition, especially for a 1984 model.  It has a fridge, a/c, furnace, and stove.  Plenty of storage and sleeping quarters.  Pops up, so when it's cranked down it can fit more places than the high-riding hard-sided Drifter could.  And the best part of all, it fits our truck.  No special tie-downs!  Odd, isn't it, that the total price for Rex's wares is almost identical to what we were prepared to spend on just tie-downs and jacks?

Thrilled with our new home, we were ready to give it a name.  It is a Valor model so we decided to call it El Valor, the Spanish article seemingly emphasizing the brave exploration nature of our adventure.  There's something very quixotic about the name, as well as our journey.  My cherished Don Quixote papier mache statue will be our mascot, and I've even considered painting windmills on the side of the camper.  We will see about that...

But what would become of the Drifter?

We listed it on craigslist for $100 because we had not completed refurbishing it.  The first guy to call about it was Shane.  He knew immediately he wanted it and offered money to hold it until he could get out here to the island.  When he arrived, with his fiancee and parents, there was something familiar about him.  He looked around and said he would take it; he would be back in a few days with his friend's truck and trailer to pick "her" up.  I kept wondering how I knew him, and then it hit me.  It was his parents that were familiar to me...they are the couple from Montana we talked to during our estate sale!  This young man has apparently inherited the gypsy gene.

Yesterday, Shane and his parents picked up The Drifter.  I watched as they towed her away, down the street.  Sad.  But at least she went to someone who truly appreciates her and knows how to care for her.  Shane and his fiancee plan to renovate the old girl and then give her a new home on their truck.  They plan to travel with her when the time is right.  Anybody could have given us a $100, but Shane and Cheri soothed my soul with their own dreams for the Drifter.

Although we have not yet hit the road with El Valor, our journey has already begun.  We have been blessed with many new experiences and acquaintances.  When we first began dreaming about our trip, I reconnected with an old acquaintance I had not seen in nearly 20 years.  Really, she is my brother's friend from his days touring in bands.  I read a comment she posted on facebook and instantly remembered her.  A quick glance at her profile page, and I knew I had to contact her.  She and her husband and their two young daughters sold or donated EVERYTHING and moved onto a sailboat.  They live on it full-time in the Caribbean...We exchanged some private messages.  I asked her about raising the girls on the boat -- how do they feel about this new journey?  My concern was that I would be imposing my nomadic tendencies onto Sage.  And what if this is not her calling?  I guess I wanted to be sure I was not being selfish...my old acquaintance Stephanie reassured me that whether Sage chooses to live an "alternative" lifestyle does not matter.  She will be able to learn about the world up-close and through her own experiences, not only by way of reading books.  Stephanie told me her girls absolutely love living on the boat, that they can not imagine returning to their life in Texas.  I finally had the confidence to commit to my authentic path.  Thank you, Steph.  You have no idea how much you helped me believe in my dream.

Perhaps Renee was right.  Perhaps our mobile adventure will begin on land and continue on water.  I don't know.  But I'm fairly certain that we will meet plentiful people along the way.  Old and new friends, always willing to share their knowledge and advice, will appear to offer that little bit of encouragement or helpful information that will enrich our journey.
farewell, drifter

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Bags of Rags and New Favorite Things

I've been packing clothes into El Valor.  Some garments will not make the final cut for the adventure, I'm afraid.  Every item, every accessory must be carefully chosen to suit various conditions, from yoga and running on the beach, to client meetings and speaking engagements.  Each must work together with the other elements to reflect personal style.  And everything must be of decent quality, clean and without tears or holes...except for my one designated "grubby outfit".  Ha!  As I hold up my favorite green hemp skirt, then my baby blue "Be the Change" organic tee, I realize I'm trying to justify that a) neither is suitable for exercise or work-related events; b) they do not work together at all, and c) both are worn nearly threadbare and have stains and a blemish here and there.  They don't even qualify as finalists for my grubby outfit, because they are completely wrong for any labor-intensive project I might dream up.  Really, I don't know why I'm holding onto them.  Maybe it's just their symbolic meaning.  Oh my gosh, am I really just holding onto them because they support my "green" values? 

Looking around the house, I find a lot of things that I'm holding on to that serve an empty purpose.  Those items could go to someone who could put them into service once again.  Now that's "sustainable."

Over the past few months I have gradually pared down my wardrobe.  Dramatic.  Not traumatic, but noticeable.  Getting rid of ill-fitting clothes was easy.  Even brand-new or like-new treasures I simply did not like were donated without hesitation.  The things I truly love, that have been worn so many times they are almost translucent...well...this is where I might get choked up.  Maybe -- ha.  If they are completely worn out, then they must have served me well.  They must have been through a lot of experiences with me.  Each represents a rite of passage, a moment in time where someone or some situation pushed me to the outer bands of my limitations physically, emotionally, spiritually or maybe intellectually.  (Not to mention ECONOMICALLY.  Most likely I could not afford it when I purchased it.)  But I can't fill up my teeny wardrobe space with rags, no matter what significant life-moment they represent.

Imagine packing a suitcase with memories.  When that one is filled, you open a new one.  You still have to carry the old one, too.  You keep unzipping, filling, zipping and lashing buckles on suitcases until one day your arms can't carry the load any longer.  All of them, every last suitcase falls onto the floor.  When a toddler drops a jar of jelly on Aisle 9, shards of glass and globs of icky-stickiness scatter.  Your suitcases drop, and all the obsessive-compulsive, neat-stacking can not maintain order in your life.  All the triumphs, disappointments, brief interludes with indifference -- every single memory that you have carried around in your mountain of luggage scatters on the floor for the world to see.  And pick apart bit-by-bit.  Or at least that is what we worry about secretly, isn't it?  We hope nobody will ever know that thing we did or said.  We go through life worrying too much about why we did such-and-such, and why we did NOT do that really smart thing that would surely have made our life better.  (And, for the record, life would not be necessarily be better...or worse...just different.)

The truth is, when we stop guarding the moments of our life that shaped the person we are now, we lighten our mood as well as our load.  Stop carrying around so much STUFF and let yourself live.  Let your bags of rags fall to the floor.

More of my clothes will be retired.  I will make room for a couple of links to the past but most of my wardrobe will remain empty.  As our adventure begins, I will have plenty of room for new memories, new experiences.  And new favorite things.

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Thank you, readers

Yesterday's post was difficult to write because it pushed the boundaries of my comfort zone.  It was not particularly personal, though it certainly felt that way.  I'm glad I took the risk and posted it, though.  I received numerous comments (and a couple phone calls) from friends and family who told me they "needed that message."  As a writer, this means more to me than you all will ever know.  As a person, I was touched by your willingness to share your own stories.  You cried along with me. 

Several times during the writing process I felt a little "icky" -- that's the simplest way I can describe it.  I doubted my message and whether it was appropriate to post.  In future posts, starting with today's -- ha -- I will strive to put myself back in that icky zone.  That seems to be the stuff that resonates with people and fulfills me creatively. 

Stay tuned...

Monday, August 2, 2010

Pennies from Heaven

When I was a senior in college, like many paying-my-own-way college students, I was poor.  Broke, all the time.  I worked the maximum allotted 19.75 hours per week as a student employee in the Honors Program office and another 20-25 hours per week at an accounting firm.  Between the two, I barely earned enough to pay for rent, electricity and groceries.  My weekly food bill could not exceed $5 -- can you even imagine that???  I ate Ramen, bananas, peanut butter and bread, and then had iceberg lettuce salads every day, twice a day.  A woman I worked for in the Honors Program would bring in pesto and bagels once a week; I inhaled them.  No wonder I lost a lot of weight that year...

That was a truly difficult year for me.  The one hopeful thing that kept me moving forward, holding it together, was the promise of it all ending soon.  All my energy flowed into my studies, one of my better decisions, ha ha ha.  A lot of good things have come my way since college, and most can be traced back to lessons gleaned from that challenging year.

As I said, I was always broke.  One day I was agonizing over something that cost money -- maybe it was rent or most likely FOOD -- and I had nothing.  Whatever the expense, it was due before my next payday, and I wasn't sure how I would pay for it.  Walking along, probably with my head down and crying (I did a lot of that that year), I found some money.  Not very much, but just enough to tide me over.  I can't remember if it was in a parking lot, along the street, somewhere on campus.  That part is erased from my memory.  But after that "discovery", it seemed that whenever I really needed money a little bit would fall at my feet, literally and symbolically.  These pennies from heaven helped me through some of the most difficult days of my life.  They gave me hope more than monetary fulfillment.

I promised myself then that I would never, ever take for granted small, unexpected gifts.  To this day, I still look for AND PICK UP money in parking lots everywhere.  Pennies, especially.  (Ha!)  Individually these coins might not have much value, but collectively they can buy a gallon of gas, a spiral notebook, an entire case of Ramen (j/k.)  Today, I am not desperate like I was then.  Today, I collect them for Sage.  I collect them for a rainy day.  But most of all I collect them because they represent tiny bits of happiness.

Yesterday I was feeling overwhelmed by all that needs to be done to prepare for our adventure.  Much needs to be moved into storage, some things will be sold, and others will be donated to charitable organizations.  We need to deep-clean and paint the house, tear down the backyard paradise we worked so hard to build...our fingerprint on this property must be wiped clean.  El Valor is spotless but our everyday-life items must still be packed into it.  The wiring and gas lines need to be checked out -- routine when you buy a used camper.  The Driftah needs a home!  All of this must be done in the next few weeks, while still entertaining and educating a very curious toddler and rebuilding our business.  When do we squeeze in time for exercise?  Ugh, that spinning feeling is coming back.  Hold on a second.

In the midst of my dizzying thoughts, my little girl began dancing and shouting, "Ballet!  Today!  Ballet!  Today!"  Ironically, there was nothing graceful or elegant about her movements or chanting.  She looked more like a marching soldier with ADD.  But she was having fun, and her infectious laugh made me chuckle.  I exhaled.  My sweet husband hugged me.  That seemed to squeeze out the stress...and I cried a little.  My family had unintentionally reminded me of those lean days at the University; their well-timed gestures whispering that happiness does not always come in grand style.  Worrying about the big picture (aka, preparations for our trip) will rob me of the pleasant moments -- a small child delighting in her own dance-play, a hug -- that subtly add up.  Not very often do we win the lottery or inherit a windfall; usually it's the pennies we pick up off the pavement that make our fortune.

Sunday, August 1, 2010

Dreams, virtues and safe travels

All was quiet until the phone rang.  It was my friend Denise and she was giddy about buying a new car.  Not just any car, her DREAM CAR.  She has been looking for this exact make and model, with these exact options, and in this color and price range, for a very long time.  Finally she found it...in another state.  So yesterday morning she flew from Dallas to pick up her Dream Car.  Today, she's taking her home.  Congratulations, my sweet friend.  You have worked so very hard for this.  It is only the beginning of many more dreams to come true.  I love you!

This morning I was up early: made coffee, puttered around on my 'puter, and looked up a new recipe or two.  Then I sat down to sip my coffee while I pondered the day, imagined how it might unfold.  El Valor is getting a good cleaning today.  We will also take inventory of what stays, what goes and what else we need.  Denise offered to recover the cushions for us, and I just might take her up on the offer.  Or maybe we can do it together?  I told her when she called that I will let her know tomorrow.  She needs to pay attention while she's driving, ha ha ha.

Signal faded so I didn't get to say 'goodbye' to her.  The conversation felt incomplete, so I played it out in my imagination.  Before I imagined saying goodbye I told her how happy I am for her.  I'm thrilled for myself, too, about our new adventure.  Almost synchronized, Denise and I are realizing dreams; it's wonderfully fulfilling to observe a loved one's successes and be able to share your own.  Too often we are lectured that to be modest is to be virtuous.  We are made to feel that we should "tone down" our confidence, our enthusiasm, our joy.  I disagree completely.  Instead, we should share these positive qualities -- traits I would consider true virtues -- with others, especially those who do not possess them.  Misery loves company, it's true, but happiness adores a crowd.  Miserable people try to put you down so that they will feel better about themselves.  Happy people, however, try to pump you up so you will feel better about you.  Good stuff is far more infectious; spread it around liberally.  I "told" her all of these things.

My friend is literally and symbolically "in the driver's seat" now.  Her voice sounds...I don't know, bubbly?  Effervescent?  Congratulations, D.  Safe travels...I think I'll have some, myself.

Friday, July 30, 2010

Farewell to the Driftah...Bienvenidos a "El Valor"!

The Driftah, sadly, will not be making the journey with us.  She was intended to piggyback on a 70s-style Nissan or Toyota pickup.  Our gigantic 2001 Ford F250 Diesel is not the right fit.  After much research and dreaming and designing and scheming, we discovered we could compensate for the awkward configuration by adding Torklift tie-downs and jacks.  Pricey, but we were willing to make the investment because we bought the camper for so cheap and the expense of the finish-out is relatively low.  All said, we would still spend much less than if we bought a newer model with more amenities.

But then Rex called.

A week or two ago -- when we first became concerned about the viability of the Driftah for our adventure -- David had called about a couple of campers he found on craigslist.  One listing was for a slide-in truck camper like the Driftah.  It's a 1980s-era rig -- so we would upgrade by about 10 years, ha.  Instead of solid sides it has a pop-up area with half-siding, half-canvas walls.  Interested, David called but reached the seller's voicemail; he left a message and somewhat forgot about it.  No returned phone call...until yesterday.

Rex described the "Valor" as David listened and made notes, his eyes dancing with excitement.  He would look at me, as if to say, "Oh my gosh, this is exactly what we are looking for!"  It has everything the Driftah does not: a/c, a working fridge, a FLOOR and WALLS.  Ha.  It also has a 3-burner stove and furnace -- which the other camper HAD until we removed them to make more room.  Rex also offered to throw in a generator if we were to make a reasonable offer.  Not really wanting to give up on the Driftah, but very curious about the Valor, we made the trek to Rockport.

And we were not disappointed.  It is everything we need and want to be a mobile family and business.  He also has a small utility trailer that we can tweak to haul all our business equipment (e.g., printers and laminator, etc.) and additional personal items (bicycles, baby jogger, etc.)  The Valor also FITS our truck snugly...and looks a lot better, ha ha ha.  A bonus feature is that if we want to travel overseas, we can fit into the "cheap seats" on cargo ships. "Overland" travellers tend to stick with slide-in truck campers with pop-ups for this very reason.  The camper, generator and trailer together cost almost exactly the same as the tie-downs and jacks we were planning to order for the Driftah.  Divine intervention?  Fate?  Both, neither, I don't know.  We finally have the right configuration for our home-in-motion.  Now the preparations REALLY begin!

First, I will start removing everything from inside the Valor.  And while we're on the subject of naming our "home"...I think we should give it the Spanish "El Valor".  The article seems to emphasize the bravery and exploration context of our expedition.  Inside, my beloved papier mache statue of Don Quixote will be displayed.  Maybe uplit.  Would mini-murals of windmills on the side of El Valor be too much?  Back to my checklist, then...so out with the cushions.  Clean everything with warm water and lavender-scented castille soap.  Windows will be wiped with vinegar.  I'll probably hit all the wood with orange oil to ward off ants.  Orange oil to mop the vinyl flooring, too.  When everything is out, we can decide on any modifications.  At first glance, I would like to replace the flooring.  With what, I don't know yet.

While I'm cleaning El Valor David will remove existing boards from the trailer and paint the frame black.  We have plentiful replacement boards from our backyard decks and planter boxes.  (Remember we wanted to reuse these materials to finish out the Driftah?  That was not going to work out, anyway, because we couldn't find a cabinet shop or lumber yard with a resaw to cut the boards thin enough.)  We already have ideas for redesigning the trailer and will document its rebirth.  El Valor's second wind will be documented, too.  Everything is coming together for us and this adventure, except...

What do we do with The Driftah?  Well, we might be able to reuse some pieces and parts.  I think we will strip it down to the frame and insulation, and maybe reinstall the flooring.  Then we'll just give it away to someone who wants a weekend project.  Uncertain, at this point.  One thing we need to do, though, is give it a respectable funeral or adoption ceremony, at least.  If it's possible to have feelings for an inanimate object, I love the Driftah.  And I want her to go to someone who will take care of her and love her, too.

My hula girl truck -- aka Bluebonnet -- will also be adopted out to a good home.  No reason to split the family into two vehicles; then we wouldn't be travelling together.  And taking this journey -- exploring the world -- together is the focus of our adventure.

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Adapting, For a Change (or Changes)

We sold the RV stove/oven combo on Friday night to a woman who built a tiny home on 2 acres.  She built it entirely by hand, entirely by herself.  Kudos!  That will be our next adventure, maybe.  There might be a couple in between...actually.

The weekend is a blur of packing and purging, moving stuff to storage, and adapting.  Yes, we must amend our plans a bit.  We are still 'going mobile' around Labor Day.  But it looks like The Driftah will not be making this journey with us.  No matter how we reconfigure it, our beloved camper just does not ride securely on our truck bed and, quite honestly, just does not fulfill the needs of a full-time family.  It would however be a fabulous project for a weekend warrior or the occasional camper.  I don't know, that shanty-on-wheels has stolen my heart and ignited my creativity, so I'm still not giving up on it.  Cross your fingers I don't have to find her a new home.  Hmm.

When you commit to an adventure like this, especially one by way of small spaces, you must be ready to adapt freely.  And by "freely" I mean willingly, immediately, and without emotional outbursts.  You can't become erratic about the need for changes that almost certainly will arise.  You must not become attached to a romantic, idealized vision of your Plan.  All you can really count on are: today you are here and at some point in the future you will be "there."  How you get there is the real adventure, the path pregnant with memories of challenges and achievements.  You know...going mobile in a small space is really a metaphor for our emotional development.  Our Life is not measured by the intensity of "good" and "bad" events that occur; we as individuals are measured by the manner in which we respond to these events.  So if you choose to move your family into an rv for an adventure of a lifetime, be prepared for your black water tank to leak; several tires on one side of the trailer to be punctured by nails and screws mysteriously scattered on the highway; or your beloved camper lumbering off into the sunset on the bed of another family of campers' truck.  Don't freak out; try to exercise patience.  Step back, elevate your thinking to a Visionary's perspective.  The Big Picture.  You have to remember that it's the journey, not the destination...or the vehicle, apparently...that really matters.

This journey is far too short, if you are enjoying it, and far too long if you're not.  Isn't there a Rolling Stones lyric that suggests "time waits for noone..."?  Life keeps flowing, whether or not your vessel is ready to launch.  In my little corner of the world, each day is a blessing and every moment, a gift.  I embrace and celebrate them, every one.  And I cherish the brave-hearted who will join me, if only for a part of the trip.  The Driftah has been part of the planning phase, maybe I should just let her go.  Maybe I should look up a couple of other campers that can handle the launch phase...ones with names equally as cool as The Driftah...like the Wanderer.  Yeaaaahhhh.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Collisions

Today we continued sifting through the paper trail of our life.  Piles for 'nativedave', 'personal', 'art box', 'garage sale', 'donate' and the now teeny 'trash' are forming small molehills all over our living room rug.  This and boxes of family documents were excavated from that burial ground otherwise known as "the office."  Both David and I have dreaded that dig for months, but actually we have plowed through decades and generations of memories in a very short time.  Almost all of it goes to storage, and the boxes are neatly stacked by the front door, ready to go.  A little more work to do, but not much.

It was odd to me, sifting through photos and papers and paid bills -- relics of the past.  And then sorting and packing and stacking them up to be stored so we can get on with our adventure -- the hope for our future.  Past collided with future, and present seemed to be the negotiator.  I'll let you know how it's settled.

We have all sorts of media, from the all-digital iPod and satellite Sirius radio, to VHS and DVD, CD and cassette.  Heaps of vinyl, too.  A few years ago we finally parted with our 8-tracks, but only because we could not find a player.  Again, remnants from the past rest cosy alongside today's technology.  As we organized these items we discovered a small collection of unmarked VHS tapes.  Before we recycle or reuse them, we knew we needed to view them to see what was there.  A few were filled with medical television shows and programs about supervolcanoes.  Immediately I knew these had once belonged to David's brother Brandon.  Then I found one marked "Autumn and Jack's Wedding Reception."  Autumn is David's mom and Jack is his step-father.  I popped in the tape and was amazed that there was so much footage of the pizza party the night before the wedding.  We were all so young, and it thrilled me -- and amused Sage -- to see everybody laughing and enjoying each other's company.  Quite a happy occasion.

The next segment was of the actual wedding.  It was outdoors so you can't hear the ceremony very well.  However, after that formal part is over, you can understand what is going on by watching the crowd.  Gestures, facial expressions, even body language tell a very funny story.  I remember so well the delight in Autumn and Jack's eyes the next day or so when they left for their honeymoon; it was heartwarming, as Brandon likes to say.  The best part of the tape, though, is the reception.  Everybody was dancing, and not everybody danced to the same music.  When "Livin' La Vida Loca" was played, David and I cleared the dancefloor.  We tried to recreate the video -- and neither of us are latino lovers.  That might very well be some of the funniest video evidence of our silliness in action.  Sage loved it, and even tried to emulate our dance moves, crazy as they are.  Hilarious. 

The next video was our wedding video.  Everything about it makes me laugh out loud.  From the steel drum version of the wedding march to the monk-looking dude officiating over the ceremony, we put a very modern, very eccentric twist on wedding traditions.  My favorite part is when I am getting ready to toss my bouquet.  First I had to put my Shiner (in a bottle!) down...and of course I placed it lovingly next to David's Shiner...ha ha ha.  I think I was so happy about my day I spent the entire 6-hour reception drinking and dancing, and completely forgot to thank my guests for sharing our special day with us.  If you were there and are reading this, I sincerely apologize for that faux pas.  I *was* and still am greatly appreciative for everything and everyone who participated in that absolutely magical day.

Sage really enjoyed watching and dancing to these videos.  Even more, I enjoyed sharing these moments with her, especially as we are preparing for another adventure in the immediate future.  Tomorrow we will pack away our memories and move on to the next room.  Soon, we will take off chasing new dreams, new memories.

They tried to make me go to...

REFURB but I said no no no.

Wait, no.  Yes!  I mean, yes.  Let's refurbish this beeyotch!  The Driftah, that is.  If you are following my pics and posts on facebook, then this first part will be old news.  Hang with me for a sec, please.  So, in a nutshell, we bought a 1970s-era slide-in truck camper for $375.  Bargain.  Initially, the plan was to use it for the summer to test our ability to camp in a small space together.  Then, we would sell it and buy a newer model with updated amenities.  The Driftah has grown on us, though.  It's old, smelly, obscenely outdated.  Completely incompatible with our truck, as far as size and decor.  But we love it.  It's just the kind of quirky, eccentric and bare-bones 'rig' that suits this adventure...and our personalities. 

The demolition began a few days ago -- oh my!  Ants swarmed the moldy flooring as David removed the crumbling mess.  There once was a leak in the roof so one corner, roof to floor, needs to be completely reframed and reinsulated.  The rest is in surprisingly good condition.  Walls are coming down and the floor plan is being completely redesigned to suit our needs.  Exciting.

First, the ice box did not work so it was removed.  The furnace and stove/oven do work, but we don't plan to be anywhere cold and any cooking will take place outdoors.  Small spaces tend to heat up FAST and The Driftah does not have a/c...yet.  Both were pulled and are currently listed for sale on craigslist.  A lot of the closet space was inefficiently designed so cabinets and drawers have been tossed, as well.  The area where the ice box and one closet were will be reconfigured to an open-air pantry with small refrigerator/freezer; we need storage more than anything.  Where the stove/oven was, there will be a drop-in compartment for our blender and juicer.  A cutting board will lay over the top to serve as lid as well as food prep area.  The countertop surrounding the sink and the backsplash area will be covered with stainless steel.  Walls, floor, ceiling, and one shelf will all be rebuilt with sturdy wood and sealed to repel moisture.  Since we plan to spend most of our time in coastal areas, the sealant is mandatory.

We removed the dining table and part of the seating, and will replace with fold-out cushion.  This area will eventually be Sage's bed.  The ceiling over our bed needs replacing, too.  Some of these changes will cost us nothing but time and effort.  We have a lot of leftover materials from backyard landscaping projects at our home in Corpus Christi.  Recycle, baby!  My goal is to reuse as much as possible these materials and any decor we already have that can adapt to a tiny camper.  Actually, I want to make this camper as green as possible without a lot (or any, hee hee) of the expense.

When the interior is move-in ready, we will paint the exterior.  Right now it's off-white with crazy brown stripes.  The off-white will be painted bright white and the brown will be covered with black.  In other words, the exterior will match our truck.  Hey, it's a start.  Ha.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Nifty new features

Under each post you should now see "share" buttons that will allow you to zap my posts to your loved ones via email, facebook, and a few other 'sites.  I humbly request that if you like something I write, please share it with as many people as possible.  My journey as a writer (and all these other roles) will be enriched by the feedback you, and the folks you share it with, offer me.  Sincerest thanks in advance.  :)

Welcome new batch of readers!

So I posted the url for this blog on facebook today...then began gnawing at my knuckles in fear.  Until now, I've been writing here mostly for myself and a few others.  Blather -- yes.  A lot of it.  Now with a whole new crop of readers I have to write a bit more...focused.  That's OK, really.  I need this kind of pressure if I'm to express myself clearly and succinctly, and in a way that makes you, my readers, crave more.  What if I were to offer chocolate?

Monday, July 19, 2010

Going mobile!

Did you guess my big news yet?  I've been leaving clues and can finally announce that we are 'going mobile'!  Talk about downsizing...wow.  Our rig of choice is a 1970-something Drifter slide-in truck camper.  It needs some updating; I will post pics of the rehab project-in-progress in a day or two.  This transition affects our business as well as our personal life, so until we had some logistical snags worked out, I had to keep mum.  Now that I can talk about the decision freely I'd like to explain the inspiration and goals for our adventure(s).

Many of my posts have addressed my need to simplify my life.  Until Sage came along, David and I were addicted to our business.  We allowed it to dictate every aspect of our life...we seldom spent time with our family and friends or nurtured our marriage.  Never did we take time for ourselves individually!  Life was passing us by and we hardly noticed...but there was a vague gnawing, like a hungry soul crying out for nourishment, whose voice began to grow louder and louder.  Then along came our precious wise little wildflower, and the need to listen to our hungry souls became undeniable.  Coastal living beckoned to us, so with minimal resources, and hopeful hearts, we moved our family and business to Corpus Christi. 

Two years have passed since we took this giant leap of faith and I have zero regrets.  Sage and I have met a lot of nice mommies and their babies through Stroller Strides and, more recently, LUNAfest.  Of course, having the beach right across the street from our house has also been a tremendous gift.  The recession hobbled our business, which in a way was a good thing.  Timing is always important, as they say, and the recession's was "impeccable."  Our business stalled about the same time David took on some responsibilities which required his full attention for months...and when that role began to diminish, demand for our services ramped up.  (Thank you to Higher Powers for watching over him!)  Greater interest in NativeDave.com means more work for me, as you might guess.  Sage is more mobile, creating more messes (ha ha ha), which also means more work for me.  It has become more and more difficult to juggle my workload, my housework-load and still be Mommy.  Time for me has become rare and precious.  So again that voice returned...this time SHOUTING AT THE TOP OF HER LUNGS.

I began a spiritual and intellectual journey to discover the true Me.  Yes, I have written ad nauseum about that, too.  Many wonderful and not-so-great things have been revealed to me!  I have re-discovered myself and my priorities, MY VALUES.  As I wrote recently, my passion is writing.  Green living is my secondary passion; I can get lost for hours reading about natural and non-toxic homemade products for homecare and personal care.  Or raw food!  Ha ha, another frequent topic of my blogposts.  Adventure travelling is something I deeply appreciate but have done little of since before pregnancy.  Writing about all these things would be bliss...And not least of all is my penchant for sharing these passions and interests, as well as discovering new ones, with my little Sage.  I also learned that I am eternally grateful for everyone and everything that has brought me to today, this precise moment in the present.  (Even the bad people and events have taught me priceless lessons.)  As I have travelled this authentic path, I have shared every thought and epiphany with my sweet husband.  Thankfully, we share the same spirit of adventure and affinity for truth, love and happiness.  He has embraced my ideas and inspired new ones.  Many many years ago we agreed that IF we were to marry and IF we were to have a family, we would live and work in a way that would allow us to co-parent and explore the world together...as a family.  That pact has never been amended and has served us well.  Our mobile adventure brings us even closer to realizing these long-time dreams for us and our family.

Our business is still as important to us as it ever was, but now it is an extension of us, not the other way around.  Efficiency rules our daily operating procedures (the administrative tasks) so that our focus is teaching others to landscape and live in a sustainable manner.  In other words, we teach others to live more simply.  Now, as a mobile entity with a much-smaller footprint, our message will be clearer.  A lot of changes will take place in the services we offer, and if you are interested in following that journey, check out nativerave.blogspot.com.  I have not made the announcement there yet...but will in a day or two.  My goal for that blog is to become not only a place where we announce speaking engagements or post articles related to sustainable living.  It should be David's account of our mobile adventure and, most importantly, its relevance to the mission of our business.  This blog, then, will become strictly my take on the adventure, mostly discussing the other green nuances of our lifestyle.  In other words, nativerave will talk about plants and clients and their gardens; this blog will follow us through butterfly houses, farmers' markets, kid- and pet-friendly activities we encounter in our travels.  And beaches, of course.  Lots and lots of beaches...Maybe I should move my blog back to 'txgreenqueen'?  Thoughts?

To my new Corpus Christi friends...I am not going away.  At least not permanently.  We will be here half-time (maybe a little more) and travel the other half.  Now that I will have more Sage-and-me time, you can expect to see more us!  Promise!  About that, I am very happy.  See?  :)

To my lifelong Dallas and Austin friends...I will see you more often, too!  When we travel, I will let you know far in advance so we can meet up when I'm in town. 

And to all my other friends, flung across the globe...I might not be travelling to see you in my home-and-office-on-wheels, but I should be able to get away for that long-overdue visit.  Finally.  FINALLY.

Thank you for joining me for what I'm sure will be the most profound adventure of my life.  I can't wait to bring you up to speed on the preparations that have been in the works for about a year now.  More soon...until then, get to know you and make yourself happy.  Let your light shine.  Even when others seek to dim your light, let it shine!  Shine on, Friends.

The Who-Going Mobile [*Who's Next*]

Forest Kindergartens

Thank you to my dear friend, Denise T., for sharing the following links to articles about "forest kindergartens", programs that emphasize nature and play-based learning to encourage creativity, healthy conflict resolution and development of large motor skills.  Nature and environmental processes are becoming foreign to children all over the world -- someone termed this divorce of humans from nature the "nature deficit disorder."  Not all of us may afford the private tuition of a Waldorf school or similar programs, but everybody is capable of integrating more outdoor learning into their children's playtime.  Check these out:
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/11/30/nyregion/30forest.html?_r=1
http://www.findingdulcinea.com/news/education/2009/nov/US-Schools-Realizing-Benefits-of-Forest-Kindergarten.html

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

a lot of stuff...but still not ready to announce

I don't know about you, but I am beyond excited about my impending announcement.  Soon, soon.  ;-)

July 4th marked two years living at the beach.  We marked the anniversary by starting our day watching Le Tour de France (which we do EVERY day for three weeks in July.)  After that day's stage ended, we took The Driftah to our new favorite spot on the Laguna Madre.  The water was really high after Hurricane Alex, but still relatively clear.  We swam and played, and we reflected on many of the past two years' memories.  Later, we had dinner on the Gulf side of the island and waited for the fireworks to begin.  There are signs posted everywhere notifying that fireworks are prohibited, but in previous years police officers do not enforce that law.  Instead, they join us gawkers in our revelry.  This year, however, things were a bit different.  The dunes caught fire!  And nobody -- except for city employees -- seemed to worry much; they continued launching Roman candles and other dazzling things, even as the blaze spread.  Along the drive home, we found a tall fore-dune where we could watch the fire safely.  Amazing.  As we pulled onto the main road, we noticed the fire had spread up to it and several firefighters were battling it back away from the neighborhood.  Fortunately, nobody was hurt and no property incurred damage.  The dunes are charred, which will bring vibrant flowers next spring.

The Driftah will be put up for sale this Saturday.  Everything works on it, according to the previous owner.  But, no amount of sweat equity will make the thing FIT our truck properly.  It rides too high and, honestly, it just isn't big enough.  We have found a few additional truck campers we like and are sifting through the pros and cons so we can select one.  I will post pics soon.

And a bunch of other stuff will be in our sale this Saturday, as well.  This is the big push to declutter our home.  Please pray, cross your fingers, do a garage sale-raindance so that we sell a LOT.  Time to lighten our load, get organized and maintain a level of cleanliness that's greater than our current situation.  All of these changes bring me great comfort and encouragement; I'm reclaiming my life finally! 

First, I discovered my true path.  Then, I charted a course to get me onto that path.  Now, I'm implementing that plan so I can finally begin my journey.  Abundant joy!

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Raw food gives you patience???

About a week ago I downloaded an audio file of a webcast by Karen Knowler, a well-known raw food coach.  The call lasts about an hour-and-a-half and focuses on 'raw transformation.'  Curious, I copied the file onto my iPod and gave a listen during my run yesterday.

Wow.  Her message is so simplistic, and she speaks as if you are the only listener.  More like a conversation than a teacher-student exchange.  She speaks a lot about authenticity, about assessing your life in a realistic manner so that you can set reasonable yet challenging goals.  Not everyone wants or is intended to 'go 100% raw', she explains.  It's much easier for single people than married people, especially those with children.  More members of a family means more opinions and a greater chance of incongruent preferences.  Her advice is to give yourself permission to NOT go 100% raw, if that's what really suits your lifestyle.  Or to make the transformation overnight, if that works for you.  Whatever, just be true to yourself and your current lifestyle.  That makes sense to me.

Her transformation lasted much longer than it should have, she explains.  What should have taken months or even a year took FIVE YEARS.  But finally, after going on and off cooked foods for several years, she realized the plentiful benefits of eating raw.  Then and there she vowed to keep doing the things that make her feel good.

The transformation is not just physical.  It is emotional, spiritual, ecological and, in many ways, economical. 
Although I have not gone 100% raw (and really do not intend to) I have felt a shift on each of these levels.  Physically I have shed some pounds and bloatedness (ha!)  My skin looks much healthier and younger when I'm eating mostly raw foods.  Emotionally, I feel balanced like never before.  I have experienced a deeply spiritual connection with the universe, and feel detached from trivialities.  My thoughts turn to big picture topics (but I also have a natural tendency to think on that level, so I suppose eating raw simply enhances that inclination.)  I have a penchant for all things green; eating raw is a very low-impact eating lifestyle.  Economically, I find I'm able to streamline our budget by choosing largely label-less foods that we ALL like.  Eating fresh produce can be a tremendously effective method of doing good things for your body, the planet and your pocketbook.

One thing Ms. Knowler touched on, and that caught my attention, relates to patience with children.  Many raw foodists claim they interact with their children (even small children) on a much healthier level when they eat raw foods.  If this is true, perhaps they are also more patient with adults who behave like children?  SOLD.

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Charting a new course

There was a time when I thought I wanted to become a supermodel.  I signed up for classes at a modeling school in Dallas, paid lots of money to build a portfolio, and joined other wannabes for a competition in Los Angeles.  Many agencies from all over the world converged on this event to discover their next major talent.  There was adequate interest in me, and their message was always the same: get more pictures!  Back in Dallas, I began saving money for the next investment in my portfolio.

I dreamed of fame, of living a lifestyle completely different from my ho-hum suburban childhood.  But life has a way of telling you when you're on the wrong path and it's time to reroute your life.  Somehow I had picked up the wrong map and was headed toward a destination that, once I reached it, would be an insurmountable disappointment.  The money would have been nice, though.  (Ha!)  Perhaps I could have found the strength to muddle through crash-dieting (if I were allowed to eat at all!), or being treated like a mannequin with a pulse.  And then used my wealth and influence to affect positive changes in the world?  Probably not.  It's not in my nature to force myself to do things I don't want to do.  Quickly I realized I would never, ever feel like I was realizing my truest dreams by entering into the world of high-fashion modeling.  Good thing: my body type was not in great demand.

Fast-forward twenty years.  I'm finding myself rethinking my course -- I have been for a few years -- and finally I think I'm coming up with some answers.  Unlike my first real detour (from modeling), I'm not making a radical change; I'm only expanding on my current occupation.  I don't need to quit NativeDave.com, I just need to grow my role larger and in the right direction.  Right, as in it will make me happier by allowing me to create, to do the most good for our family, the business and the planet.  I have to write, have plentiful time with my family, and feel like I'm making a positive impact on my global community.  Otherwise, it's just a job to me, and that will not be fulfilling.

So how do I achieve this ideal?  First, I have to simplify my living arrangements.  That process is currently underway.  Second, I have to streamline the business so that my daily round consists of less minutiae and more meaningful and creative projects.  Third, I need a schedule, despite my distaste for rigidity.  In order for me to have time to chase my dreams, I need to allot time each day for ME.  It's there, I just need to harness it.  And make sure David sets aside that time to take over as Sage's caregiver.  I cherish every moment I have with her -- reading, climbing, exploring our imagination, learning about ourselves and the world around us.  However, in order for me to continue growing, to be the best Me I can be, I need a sliver of time each day to learn.  To create, to dream.  Next, I need to nurture my soul and worship my body.  Eat well, meditate, and exercise are integral to my happiness and creative inspiration.  Finally, I need hugs.  From my husband, from Sage, even from Folsom the Stinky Dog.  As long as I know my family supports and respects my dreams, I will have the courage to continue my journey. 

My journey is putting me back on-track, down the path I was meant to travel and toward the authentic Me.