Cleaning Therapy

Have I mentioned lately how much I loathe housework?  I don't like to do it -- really.  And I like it even less if I'm cleaning up after a perfectly able-bodied adult (ahem, my dear husband.)  Now that we have a precious wildflower who has blossomed into a toddler, I have even more messes to clean up...and growl at.  Living on an island, which is basically just an enormous ant mound, adds to my 'chores.'  Howling winds fire sand through any cracks, however small, in our doors and windows.  Ants and we are constantly engaged in a turf war.  You get the picture, right?  I don't like housework, and ironically I live in a terribly inhospitable place that actually ramps up housekeeping obligations.  Also ironically I live in a family where I am the only person who will do the dreaded work.  I growl under my breath...A LOT.

I don't like to live in a dirty place, though.  It just happens that way because one day I finally give up the constant battle and let the place go to hell for a few days.  Then I get right back to the tasks at-hand.  Yes, I resent my husband a lot on these days when I'm scrubbing and wiping and rinsing and scrubbing some more.  The funny thing is, he doesn't expect me to do it.  In his world, neither of us should have to do it.  We should be paying someone to clean our house!  Argh!  As if we could afford that, I remind him.  For the record, I do not resent my baby girl when I'm cleaning house.  She actually helps out a lot with things she is capable of doing.  And, to be fair, all my growling is beginning to pay off; David has been helping out a lot MORE.

Usually the thought of cleaning our entire house -- wall to wall, floor to ceiling, and everywhere in between -- usually overwhelms me.  Completely.  I give up after a few minutes, or I plow through angrily.  Either way, let's just say it's always an unpleasant experience.  That is, until this weekend.

Saturday I ran the Beach2Bay relay marathon.  We had a lot of events planned the rest of that day, so by Sunday morning I was exhausted.  OK, and a little sore.  Had I just run the 4.08mi in deep DEEP sand, I would have been fine.  Add to it the 1.7mi bike ride to the start line and another 1.7mi from the finish line.  Then I attended a wedding and held a nearly-30lb sleeping toddler on my shoulder throughout the ceremony. Finally, I ran and played on the beach with her.  I was swinging her around and around in circles.  The next morning, I felt pretty bad.  I felt like maybe it was just a lack of water.  Then I worried maybe I had injured my back?  And then the worst thought occurred to me...maybe I really am getting older?  The latter made me shudder, made me angrier and more resentful than...than...HOUSEWORK.  I kept feeling like I'm not ready for this process to happen...

God I'm vain.

Still clinging to my initial diagnosis (minor dehydration), I started drinking my weight in water.  I started cleaning my house and felt even worse, at first.  Then, suddenly, it was as if I had reached the minimum water requirement.  I felt immensely better.  Did I jump up and celebrate?  Sort-of.  I cleaned!  It actually felt terrific!  It went much faster than usual, and I felt physically and mentally in-sync.  I didn't hate the experience and I didn't resent anybody.  And I didn't shake my fist at the Aging Gods, either.  I mean, I know I'm aging.  We all are.  But I just don't want to feel feeble yet.  (or ever, to be quite honest.)  For some reason, I was happy (could that be it?) about getting our home a little more organized, a little more sanitary.

I still won't venture into the office.

Flaunt It

So I can't sleep.  I woke up around 4:30a, not exactly sure what's preventing my brain from relaxing and rejuvenating.  There are a lot of things happening in my life -- mostly good and exciting, but a lot of additional stress.  For the past couple of days I've felt a little lost.  A little bogged down from all the decisions and changes coming up.  Claustrophobic.  When I feel this way, I start doubting myself.  And then I feel very insecure because why should I doubt myself?  Didn't I process those feelings years ago?  I realize when I feel overwhelmed, my emotional outlet is to second-guess myself, which leads to a meta-analysis of me.  Another layer of second-guessing, I guess.  Like, I second-guess myself BECAUSE I'm second-guessing myself.  But then I calm down and take an honest look at me and my life, and all is well.

I'm not there yet.  I'm still on the what-the-hell-is-going-on bend in the road.  I wish I knew precisely what brings on this cycle.  It's not a regular, predictable cycle, so I can't put my finger on the trigger.  Is it a change in diet or exercise?  Or because I drank beer this weekend?  Is it that these feelings are always there, treading just below the surface, but usually I'm too busy being mommy and wifey and business manager to allow myself time to acknowledge them?  Yes and no, to all of them.

Yesterday I finally went for a run.  I canvassed 4.5 mi, at least 3 on the beach.  In deep powdery sand.  I should celebrate that, right?  I did, finally, after I finished my route.  While I was out there, however, I was beating myself up, feeling old, feeling broken down.  By the time I returned home, I felt a lot better and pshawed notions of being old or emotionally distressed.  Pshaw!  There, writing it down deserves a second scoffing.  Never underestimate the power of endorphins.

The rest of the day and evening went great.  Aside from normal toddler antics -- like, throwing a fit because she doesn't want to eat anymore black bean burger, but then SHE DOES, or she wants to climb on my back while I'm eating -- we had a lovely, nutritious dinner followed by a teeny bit of ice cream.  I didn't stay up too late, and went to bed happy.  At 4:30a, I was wide awake.  My mind buzzed with thoughts running the gamut, from excitement about Beach2Bay this weekend to impatience about getting our home to that next level of organization to questioning whether I want to continue my involvement with NativeDave.com.  Nothing resolved, I peeled myself off the bed and decided to spend some much-needed time writing...and sipping fresh brewed coffee.  Yum.

Epiphany!  Maybe this cycle is instigated by a yearning to express myself creatively, compounded with needs to take care of myself and have a sliver of time each day alone.  All my own.  If I have my 'healthy' outlets -- writing, running and reading -- then I'm fortified against the stressors Life sometimes throws my way.

I was on facebook before beginning to write this post.  One of my friends posted her horoscope, and although I usually ignore that sort of thing, decided to look up mine for a little light-hearted amusement.  Apparently today my love life is at 100% (no kidding!), money is only about 20% (another big duh).  But the narrative itself was interesting...and I guess a little motivating?  I'm paraphrasing, but "The Stars" are telling me that I'm having only a minor setback in my confidence about my creativity and, in general, my life.  Today I should take inventory of my talents, then flaunt them.  I should put everything I have out there and enjoy the accolades.  Giant leap from feeling lost to strutting, but I will give it a try.

More Uses for Baking Soda

A while ago I gushed about all the wonderful uses for baking soda.  A non-abrasive cleaner, baking soda with a little water can be used to scrub even the nicest of cookware.  Baked-on food comes right off!  It's non-toxic yet powerful in the bathtub, toilet and sinks.  Stainless steel kitchen sinks are safe, too.  Pour a cup into sink and tub drains, followed by a huge pan of boiling water, to prevent pipes from clogging up with organic matter.  We all know it deodorizes our refrigerator and freezer, and helps to remove odors from laundry.  Lately I've been using baking soda in many other ways.  As I am the self-proclaimed Texas Green Queen (lol), I'd like pass along my discoveries.

• To remove small food particles and "bleach" stained straws.  We drink fruit smoothies and veggie/fruit juices everyday in our house.  The straws on Sage's smoothie cups easily fill up with seeds or become stained.  Either I couldn't find a brush narrow enough to push through the straw, or I didn't want to spend the money.  Regardless, I discovered this: place the straws flat, side-by-side, in the bottom of a glass bowl and cover with water.  Sprinkle 2-3 T. of baking soda into the water or on the straws.  Put bowl in microwave for 5 minutes.  Boiling water "activates" the baking soda, and together they boil out the food particles and staining residues.  Let cool 5-10 minutes, then place bowl in the sink.  Pour white vinegar over the top.  It will fizz, further cleaning and removing food.  
• To whiten and brighten teeth.  You probably already know about this use.  Brushing teeth with a teaspoon of baking soda twice a day removes stains caused by coffee and other foods.
• To sub as deodorant.  Pat under arms like a powder to absorb odors.  Works well but you might have to reapply a couple of times a day.
• As a facial scrub to deter blackheads.  I thought this might be too caustic for my skin, but when baking soda is added with warm water (not boiling), it becomes surprisingly pasty and gentle.  I use it every morning and evening, now.  My skin looks cleaner, clearer and much younger.
• To treat mosquito and other insect bites.  Safe enough to use on babies.  When we first moved to the Texas Coast, Sage was only 6 mos.  I didn't want to use  insect repellents or any synthetic chemicals AT ALL on her delicate skin.  (Still don't like to have contact with the stuff, actually.)  I used natural products and just generally kept her inside during peak mosquito infestations (e.g., after a heavy rain, at sunrise or sunset.)  A couple of times, however, a very determined little bug made his way inside and bit her while she slept.  I made a paste of baking soda and water and dabbed it on bites on her face and neck.  But for bites from the neck down, I added a teaspoon to her bathwater.  They healed so fast!

I use baking soda in nearly all my cleaning "concoctions" and most of my homemade personal care products.  I buy a 4-lb box (avg. $2.50) every 2-3 weeks.  I save a fortune and have the peace of mind knowing I'm doing my part to clean up the planet while keeping my family clean and healthy.

The Potty Chronicles

Sage used her training potty a couple of months ago but for some reason I immediately put her back into diapers.  Maybe I wasn't ready to make the transition yet?  I don't know.  Today was the day, apparently.  Four successful trips to the potty, no accidents.  She pulled up her panties herself.  She sort-of wiped properly.  The confidence she gained from doing these things on her own!  Suddenly she seemed taller and less like a baby, more like a grownup.  No!  Please slow down, my child.  I want to savor every moment...

Tomorrow we will do pretty much the same as today: drink lots of liquids, wear panties without diapers and make frequent trips to the potty; wear diaper during naptime and bedtime.  Same on Saturday, and then maybe Sunday or Monday we will try sleeping without diapers.  Maybe.

What Your Home Says

Your home reveals your true personality.  From your choice of curtains or blinds -- or the absence of them -- to flooring, you tell visitors to your home precisely who you are, where you have been and where you are right now in your life.  I read this a couple of days ago and thought I would take an honest assessment of my home.  Here in astonishing and embarrassing detail is what I discovered:

1.  Books are the gold-standard around here, because we hold on to these little dust-collectors FOREVER.  Even if they have already been read and are not worthy of a second read.  Shelf space -- what's that?  Oh, just put the overflow of books on the floor...over there...next to the gigantic furniture that's entirely too big for our living space.

2.  Our furniture is entirely too big for our living space.  With some creative staging, it's at least livable.  But still a pain to manage.

3.  Our furniture reflects another person's personality, not ours.  Everything in the living and dining rooms came from David's father's house.  It all matches and is exquisite, but it definitely is too big and too nice for us 'natural' people.

4.  We are too natural.  What's a little sand on the floor?  Or countertops?  Or barstools?  I feel bad when I see sandy footprints on the rug.  But not bad enough to sprint to retrieve the vacuum and clean it up RIGHT NOW.  Later, later.  Adventures first (see previous post.)

5.  Adventures always come first, home management is pretty low on the list of priorities.

6.  Our adventures are represented by books (see #1), photos and small mementos from friends.  Friends' art, or my cherished Don Quixote wood bookends, or my rock collection.  Plants, books about plants, PHOTOS galore of plants.  Photos of Sage or stuff to put into her baby book ABOUND.  She really is the boss around here.

6.  Anybody reading this will wonder if my house is sanitary.  It is!  It's clean!  Sort-of.  Mostly.  It's just disorganized...and cleaning requires moving stuff from one place to another...argh, I'm getting dizzy just typing about the ordeal.

And we have curtains.  But we still have not put them up.  Every day, another exciting adventure supplants my desire to feel planted.

Remember me?  The woman who preaches about simplifying your life?  Well, lately I've been away from this blog because I was too busy complicating mine.  Not because I wanted to, mind you.  Circumstances were that I had to, in order to make things simpler in the long run for me and my family.

OK, enough of the cryptic-speak.  Here's what's been going on...

Our business (http://www.nativedave.com) began in Plano, a suburb of Dallas.  Then we moved to Corpus Christi.  Then the economy took a header and nearly 'disappeared' our business.  Then interest in our services picked up.  Then David had to travel to Dallas almost every week to meet with clients and to attend to family affairs.  So now, here we sit, catching our breath, catching up on designs, trying to catch up on housework (did some super strain of mosquitoes invade our home and pull out every single book and toy while we were away???)  No amount of coffee could give me the energy to tackle this insurmountable chore...believe me, I'm testing this theory.  Daily.  The living room alone makes me tired just looking at it...

So with all this trekking back-and-forth, I've had plenty of time to think about my life now, where I've been and where I want to go next.  In a nutshell, I need less stuff and less space so I can have more time for more adventures.  By adventures I mean going places, sure, but more than that.  I want new and different experiences with new and old friends alike.  Like surfing.  A new friend surfs, her husband surfs, and she's invited us to join them for a surf day.  Or like finally FINALLY writing at least one of the kabillion books I've worked up in my creative brain over the years.  An old friend reconnected with me on Facebook (http://www.facebook.com) recently.  She is a published author now!  And working on her fourth novel!  I'm so happy for her...and inspired.  I don't know if other creative people feel this way, but in order to put myself out there, I need uncluttered, somewhat clean space.  All the stuff mucks up my brain and distracts me from my thoughts.

It's not Sage's toys or books.  It's the totality of too much stuff for our home.  It's the disorganization of stuff that, when organized, surprisingly has several "identical twins."  (Really?  How many hammers do we need???)  It's the piles of clothing that nobody wears, nobody has time to donate to a thrift shop or women's shelter.  It's the working hard to afford a house big enough to store a bunch of stuff.  I don't want my life to be ruled or defined by stuff (or constant, obsessive cleaning of stuff!!!!)  Ha ha.

My future life will contain much less stuff.  And will be more mobile.  And there will be chocolate -- oh yes -- lots and lots of chocolate for everyone.

Earth Day Month

Every year, my entire world stops during the month of April.  It's the month of Earth Day, my mom's birthday, David's mom's birthday, and our anniversary.  We book a gazillion events and presentations because THIS is when most people are thinking about making ecological and economic changes to their life and landscape.  I'll probably write more this week (spotty posts, I assume) and should return to regular posts the first week of May.

Celebrate life, y'all.  It's too precious to take for granted.