Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Day Two of Raw: Clear Ideas

Yesterday went fine except that I was cold all day -- chilled, really -- and had a major headache.  Couldn't tell if it was from lack of sleep or lack of coffee.  Either way, I was in pain.  Too much pain to talk on the phone, actually.  I woke up this morning with only slight residual pain.  And gave in to the urge for coffee...:)

Let me backtrack for a moment.  Call me a quitter but I'm just not ready, may never be ready, to give up coffee.  Really, why should I?  I only drink about a cup a day, two on a particularly groggy day.

I woke up from a dream that made me sort-of angry.  Details are boring, really, so I'll just describe the gist.  A large group of people were being unfairly critical of me.  At first, I listened to their brazen comments to glean some constructive elements.  Eventually, I realized they were just being mean.  I didn't run away and hide so I could cry.  I didn't get falsely angry and storm out, never to return.  I listened, but then I stood up to defend myself.  Calmly and logically, I poked holes in their claims.  But nobody was interested in logic, or reaching a compromise.  They just wanted a whipping girl to absorb all their anger and discontentment with their own lives. 

As I lay in bed analyzing my dream, I realized this was an important moment.  I had learned something about myself and the way I interact with others.  I had learned to have confidence in myself even when others seek to beat me down.  This will come in handy as I continue on my writing path.

Then I started thinking about the raw challenge.  My head throbbing, I decided I would have coffee today, after all.  Maybe again tomorrow.  Hell, I might never give it up.  Clearly, the 30-day challenge is great for people wanting (and needing) to make drastic changes in their lifestyle.  Overweight or suffering from debilitating disease, these folks benefit from a crash course in detoxification.  But someone like me, who really has no weight to lose and is generally healthy?  I already eat raw all day -- why give up my one cooked meal?  Or coffee?  What will I gain from this experience, really?

No answers yet, just questions.  And coffee.  Definitely coffee.

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