Charting a new course

There was a time when I thought I wanted to become a supermodel.  I signed up for classes at a modeling school in Dallas, paid lots of money to build a portfolio, and joined other wannabes for a competition in Los Angeles.  Many agencies from all over the world converged on this event to discover their next major talent.  There was adequate interest in me, and their message was always the same: get more pictures!  Back in Dallas, I began saving money for the next investment in my portfolio.

I dreamed of fame, of living a lifestyle completely different from my ho-hum suburban childhood.  But life has a way of telling you when you're on the wrong path and it's time to reroute your life.  Somehow I had picked up the wrong map and was headed toward a destination that, once I reached it, would be an insurmountable disappointment.  The money would have been nice, though.  (Ha!)  Perhaps I could have found the strength to muddle through crash-dieting (if I were allowed to eat at all!), or being treated like a mannequin with a pulse.  And then used my wealth and influence to affect positive changes in the world?  Probably not.  It's not in my nature to force myself to do things I don't want to do.  Quickly I realized I would never, ever feel like I was realizing my truest dreams by entering into the world of high-fashion modeling.  Good thing: my body type was not in great demand.

Fast-forward twenty years.  I'm finding myself rethinking my course -- I have been for a few years -- and finally I think I'm coming up with some answers.  Unlike my first real detour (from modeling), I'm not making a radical change; I'm only expanding on my current occupation.  I don't need to quit NativeDave.com, I just need to grow my role larger and in the right direction.  Right, as in it will make me happier by allowing me to create, to do the most good for our family, the business and the planet.  I have to write, have plentiful time with my family, and feel like I'm making a positive impact on my global community.  Otherwise, it's just a job to me, and that will not be fulfilling.

So how do I achieve this ideal?  First, I have to simplify my living arrangements.  That process is currently underway.  Second, I have to streamline the business so that my daily round consists of less minutiae and more meaningful and creative projects.  Third, I need a schedule, despite my distaste for rigidity.  In order for me to have time to chase my dreams, I need to allot time each day for ME.  It's there, I just need to harness it.  And make sure David sets aside that time to take over as Sage's caregiver.  I cherish every moment I have with her -- reading, climbing, exploring our imagination, learning about ourselves and the world around us.  However, in order for me to continue growing, to be the best Me I can be, I need a sliver of time each day to learn.  To create, to dream.  Next, I need to nurture my soul and worship my body.  Eat well, meditate, and exercise are integral to my happiness and creative inspiration.  Finally, I need hugs.  From my husband, from Sage, even from Folsom the Stinky Dog.  As long as I know my family supports and respects my dreams, I will have the courage to continue my journey. 

My journey is putting me back on-track, down the path I was meant to travel and toward the authentic Me.

No announcement about my announcement

I have news...but I'm not ready to share it.  Have I mentioned this before?  Some tremendous changes are underway in my little corner of the world.  VERY POSITIVE changes, so don't worry.  My marriage is fabulous; I think we actually grow closer, happier each day.  I am not 'expecting', though that would be terrific, too.  The nativedave train keeps chugging along through all this economic muck.  At this time, the most I can reveal is this: we are simplifying every aspect of our life.  Details to come...in about a week...stay tuned.  :)

I've always wanted to write a post that is shorter than its title...I wonder if this is the one? Nah, as long as this title is, it still isn't as long as the actual post. Guess today is not the day I will realize my dreams.

Prop up my eyelids, please, so I can see what I'm writing.  Actually, I need something to prop up my brain so I can think clearly to write.  All day I make mental notes but lately I have been too exhausted to remember them or to mold them into an intelligible post.  That will change soon...very soon...

Up...

I was up late last night.  Late.  My sweet little girl woke up around 4am.  For some odd reason, I couldn't go back to sleep.  So, with very little sleep, I'm up.  Up contemplating all the things I need to do before we go to a graduation party/wedding reception Saturday.  Continue organizing and cleaning the house.  Continue potty training (for the little girl, not me.)  Respond to this client and mail that one's design package.  Ship two eBay packages.  Buy two gifts for Saturday.  Find something to wear...and somehow, squeeze in a run today.  I need it like never before...Up planning, dreaming, meditating about the way I want my life to look, to feel...to BE.  And watching the sun coming up over the Gulf.

The backyard is almost cleaned up now.  We had so many unfinished projects.  It looked like a schizophrenic's workshop back there.  Boards lying here, a pile of screws over there.  Sandbox toys scattered everywhere BUT the sandbox.  We had more plants than I even want to think about.  And I don't mean planted in pots or planters.  I mean in growing containers, just sitting around.  I think I'm beginning to feel anxious just thinking about it...hee hee.  Anyway, all the extras have been adopted out now, except for one very ugly and large Texas Palm; a lime tree; a gorgeous tree yucca; and one night-blooming jasmine.  The lime tree is going to a good home today, and I'm hoping his new 'parents' will also want the palm and yucca.  I'll make them a great deal.  ;-)

Sandbox toys will be washed and put up today.  The playset and all the decks will be swept up, too.  Shake out the rug, and the backyard will look tidied up...transformed.

Indoors, things are looking up as well.  David's side of the closet has been pushed to maximum storage capacity.  I'm afraid at any moment a geyser of ratty old Polo Tshirts and pearl snap Western shirts will gush into our bedroom.  Painstakingly, he has been listing garments on eBay.  Two items have already sold (that I will ship today!)  By finding new homes for the 'excess', we are creating space indoors that will allow us to organize and clean more efficiently.  This brings me great joy.

Why?

I'm not particularly organized or a clean-freak...I think I've mentioned this before, hee hee...but I am an anti-clutterbug.  Seriously, knick-knacky stuff lining shelves or lying around the house annoys me, distracts me...I guess it offends me, I've learned?  I'm not being too bold in saying that I HATE IT.  I'm a minimalist and a nomad, and I need to feel (even if I never ever again act on the urge) to pick up and move at moment's notice.  Clutter makes me feel anchored, like a wild animal in a cage.  Now that clutter is going away and the belongings are finding places in her home, I'm beginning to relax.  I'm beginning to feel like I live here.  And now the sun has been up some time...my husband has chatted me up for about two hours...my little girl is up, wide awake, and ready for her smoothie.  Yep, things are looking up around here.

Asking for what you want

Sounds easy, right?  Then why don't we do it more often?  Too often we worry we will offend or be deemed incompetent...or worse!  The dreaded Wonder Woman Imposter Scandal!  Those of you who think you can do it all, and still look like a supermodel, are full of it.  You are just as frazzled as the rest of us, you just hide it better than we do.  (I know your secrets, too, but that's a post of a different color.)  Back to this one...

Maybe I'm not talking to YOU but in the past I certainly have had difficulty asking for what I wanted.  I remember all too well shying away from asking for a raise.  I knew I deserved it, I knew my bosses knew I deserved it.  Yet somehow I felt insecure or maybe embarrassed about asking to receive more money.  Everyday others ask so much of us, WE ask even more of ourselves.  But we don't feel right about asking THEM for a little help around the house or to carry our groceries out to our car...or to do what WE want this weekend.  I always thought I was independent and strong-willed, but at this point in my life I finally have discovered that too often I have pushed aside what I want in order to maintain harmony.  In my job, my friendships, and in my home.  No more.

Before I go further let me clarify that my husband does not ignore my needs and wants.  Quite the opposite.  He has pleaded with me for YEARS to talk with him about this topic.  I guess asking for what I want has not been the problem, it was permitting myself to actually THINK about who I am, what I need and what I want to be happy.

A while ago I started exploring these facets of my personality (I'll post about that soon.)  Now that I understand myself a bit better, I began making a mental outline of My Perfect Life and what it would take to achieve it.  In truth, I'm not seeking perfection.  I will fall a bit short of that, but it will still be pretty darned amazing.  I have begun asking my inner circle for their support as I strive toward my ideal.

Recently I read that all we have is all we need.  That we have everything and can not receive another blessing unless we make room for it.  That we must ask for what we want but also we must prepare to receive it.  Like the saying about being "careful what you wish for", you must be ready for happiness before it arrives or else it will move along to another inn.  Currently I'm figuratively setting up the guest room for the life that I want.  I hope she comes to visit and likes the place so much she just moves in.  Will keep you posted.

Rare, Please

I'm having one of those rare moments where the only sound I hear is the arctic blast from the air conditioner kicking on, then silence.  Blast, then silence.  I could go on like this for...seconds.  Ha.  The phone is not ringing, my sweet Sage is fast asleep on my brother's bed, Folsom is napping, even my brother's dog and cat are napping.  Occasionally, I hear the faint sounds of bumper-to-bumper downtown Dallas traffic.  Not loud enough to rupture my tranquility, but just enough to remind me that there is an entire world bustling on the other side of the fence.

This is one of the rare moments I have all to myself.  David is off meeting with clients and my brother is at work. Everyone and everything around me is giving me time to pursue my own passion: writing.  I'm not running or cleaning or returning emails or jacking around on facebook (though I have a kabillion tabs opened for email, facebook, mapquest, etc.)

Breathe.  I need to take a deep breath and let the silence inspire me.  Close my eyes...wait, damn.  Now I can't see my computer.  What...?

This is rare, indeed.  So many topics swim around in my imagination and I feel pushed to rush through a checklist.  Slow down, Christy.  Breathe.  Write about what you KNOW...

(Pausing for a few rare moments to catch my breath, to choose ONE thing to write about...)

Green smoothies.  I know, I seem to be obsessed with juicing and smoothies.  I assure you, this is no superficial love-affair.  Not a crush, nor a fling.  My interest in the liquid component of my diet is pure...true...love.  Why?  First, to further the romance metaphor, let's look at the 'nice ass' factor, the superficial layer of first attraction.  The first thing I love about smoothies and juicing is their convenience.  Quick and easy to concoct (and clean up), liquid nutrition is also very portable.  Throw a bunch of nutrition into a superfast machine, then pour and slap on a lid.  Done.

Second, just about anybody will drink it.  No longer will texture prevent you or your loved ones from trying super-healthy (but possibly too mushy, too slimy, too ICKY) produce.  Throw just about anything together, sweeten with a few apples, and it's tasty.  Unless of course you are opposed to apples...try pineapples instead!

Third, these concoctions feed your body what it needs efficiently.  Proteins, fibers, vitamins/minerals A to Zinc, and more.  No cooking, no chewing, no competing with processed ingredients.  In your mouth and directly to the systems that rely on this "fuel."

Fourth, eating this way is more affordable than you might think.  Buy fruits, veggies and herbs that are in season and locally grown, if possible.  Usually they are at their lowest prices then, and are more nutritious because they didn't have to be picked too early to survive a long transport.  Organic is ideal for some but not all produce.  Check out Environmental Working Group's "dirty dozen" and "clean fifteen" guides to help you decide which is better for you and your family: http://www.foodnews.org/walletguide.php?key=39035933

Next, if you are trying to lose weight, this is much better than other choices available.  No pills, no hard-to-remember rules (like only eat before 6pm or you'll turn into a pumpkin...)  No learning curve to figuring out new recipes...I could go on...but let me just remind you of the KISS principle.  "Keep it simple stupid or silly or sweetie", depending on your mood.  Experiment and feel good because you have blessed your body with what it needs.  In return, it thanks you by purging all the processed foods, the chemical junk you have been consuming throughout your lifetime.

And finally (at least until I edit this and come up with many more great things about smoothies and juicing), eating in this way is very eco-conscious.  If the produce is organically or least locally grown, you are supporting agricultural practices that minimize (and in many cases eliminate) synthetic chemicals, such as pesticides, herbicides and fertilizers.  You reduce emissions resulting from transporting produce over long distances, thereby improving air quality.  There is virtually no waste involved in the preparation or consumption of these meals.  Any scraps resulting from preparing the produce may be diverted from the landfill and instead composted or reused (e.g., muffins made with carrot pulp, etc.)  Plentiful recipes are included with various brands of blenders and juicers.  As you incorporate more and more of this liquid gold into your diet, and you begin to shed excess weight, you will take up less room on the planet, too.  :)

As I sip my green smoothie (watermelon, spirulina powder and water), I think back to the moment I first became infatuated with smoothies and juicing.  Victoria Boutenko explains in her Green For Life the nutritional content of all sorts of greens, with special emphasis on things we commonly refer to as "weeds."  Lambs-quarters, dandelions, and more are packed with higher nutritional quality than more familiar greens, such as romaine or iceberg.  Fascinating book, and it completely changed the way I view food, nutrition, wellness.  No cooking necessary; rare, indeed.

A lot to say

I've been writing multiple blog posts...in my mind.  Today I hope to actually upload them here.  Have a great morning, y'all.